A Risky But Rewarding Saturday Afternoon

So another swing-by to Kittens has been on my to-do list. With it Saturday (as in today) being sort of sunnyish for once, I ventured out. Having partook in some excessive libation the next before, I slept in and ended up making my appearance later than I usually would, finally pulling up in the afternoon at three. I might as well just jot this review off now while I can still remember the bullshit stripper aliases. To cut to the chase, the verdict is: Kittens is the same old, risky with high rewards. If Pandoras is a blue chip, Kittens is the Silicon Valley startup. Total spent: exactly 220.

I head and and notice the first change since I last was here. Kittens seems to have taken my advice about taking a leaf out of Pandora’s book and getting eye candy to work the bar. The problem is, they put in the casting call without the quality control. Waiting for my cover to be collected, I notice that the discount Tony Sopranos are gone, replaced with a chubby blondie and a be-speckled, nerdy but cute AA. Blondie collects the cover and glass wearer gets my fake beer. As I’m waiting for my piss beer a petite AA, a natural beauty, comes up for the sell. Got a name drop (“Joy”), but don’t quote my on it. As anyone who’s been to Kittens knows, hearing isn’t ultimate. There’s a probability I miss heard.

It was a good sell, even by the standards of a Seattle veteran. Standard opening line (“fun in the LDA”?) but samples are being offered. Sticks her ass back, just barely covered with a thong (“feel how soft it is baby”). Ok, you don’t have to force me. Went in for a grab. She grabs my dick under my pants a little. Gets my drink for me that is ready now. We settle back on the far right couch for menu and pricing. Little more dick grabbing under the pants and she jumps on my lap. Loses the bra half way and I get in a little top goods fondling. Sell is just about sealed but it’s her turn on stage.

As she’s twerking on stage the usual parade of scammers and psychos come by in her absence. First up is Isabel. No ass or tits. Got a little bleached blonde Marilyn Monroe thing going. Then it’s psycho anorexic blondies turn. Blanking on the name but have had dealings with her in the past. Skinny, tat covered, almost no there there for top or lower goods, has the “Oh I’m the good girl, not like the high mileage baddies” thing going. Goes for the sell on the LDA. Hard pass. “I don’t think she’s pretty”?). No, get fucking lost. Ok, (“bye then.”) Bye honey. I would have said don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out if she had one. Final act in the procession is Rio. She’s basically Luna if Luna was ten years younger and had no ass or tits. The Pandoras veterans will recall that Luna hails from the same land of rainforests and bikini wax that Rio does (she’s Brazilian and her name is Rio, lol get it?). Yeah, the originality is just blowing me away. I’ve shaken the last of the procession off and petite AA makes a reappearance. We agree on 200 in the LDA. Variable number of songs.

There’s only one other perv in the LDA, fondling fake tits aspiring porn star Kim K lookalike that did a good stage spread earlier, so basically we have the LDA to ourselves. A quick bra and panty drop and some lap twerking. I’m getting in some quality fondling of the goods I paid for. Free hand roaming. Time for a knee drop. She’s good at keep eye contact. Five minutes later and we’re wrapped up. Well, almost. Get in a few more ass slaps as she’s covering up the goods for the next perv to pay for. Got to let the sluts know who’s boss.