Bitched out in the ladies room.

Welcome back to me. It's been almost two years since we've frequented any establishment of this sort (or any other establishment other than the grocery store). We were ready. We decided that we needed to reinvent our social life so we invited a friend and his girlfriend for dinner and a show.

It was her first time, the rest of us have been enough to know what's up. We arrived early, a little after 6p, and started drinking. No cover before 7p. The waitress quickly took our order, we paid the bill and her shift was over. The walk of shame is always a highlight for me. I wish I could tell you why, but I can't, I just enjoy it.

We ordered dinner. I ordered sirloin and shrimp and was served filet and lobster. No complaints here, and it was really good. It's one of my favorite parts of Detroit area strip clubs, the food.

The girls got prettier as the hour got later. The tits got larger too. That's where it gets less interesting. As we were two male/female couples we were customarily ignored. We tipped at the stage, sometimes more than we should have. Still no luck. Not a glance in our general direction from any of the girls. Finally, success! I blatantly flagged down a cute girl and she actually came over and sat with us. My friend and his girl went back with her and reappeared a few minutes later very happy. As it was his girlfriend's first time she stated that she didn't know she could touch the girl. So she said she sat there with her hands by her side as she was groped, which she also said she enjoyed. The same girl showed up about a half hour later and took them for another dance. Mutual groping was reported. They spent around 1-1.5 each time around.

That's when my wife lost her $h!t. She want to the ladies room and bitched out the girls for ignoring her wealthy man and his wealthier friend. I mean, bitched them out! We laughed and laughed and then laughed a bit more. Of course not a single one of the girls decided to heed her advice and come by for some of the cash in our pocket. At that point we were full, drunk and tired. Uber home.