Neighborhood Bar With Fully Nude Women Through a Haze of Smoke

This was my first-ever visit to Penns Port, but I was intrigued by prior reviews. Those basically described the club as a neighborhood bar with naked women, no lap dances. Honestly, I don’t think I could come up with a better description than that.

I parked right on Columbus Boulevard, almost by the front door, with plenty of room to maneuver (when I walked out 20 minutes later, the street was full, so maybe I got lucky). The door was wide open, and the second I walked in, I was overwhelmed by the amount of smoke. So be prepared to smell like it if you’re not a smoker and don’t want to have to explain to your SO why you smell like smoke.

The layout is simple - basically only a rectangular bar with a stage/pole in the center. Drink prices ranged from $4 for a Coke to $6 for domestic beers and $7 for a Heineken. The women were surprisingly attractive for a place with such a dive bar vibe. It didn’t seem like many were working - I stuck around for 20 minutes before the smoke entered the pores on my skin, and only saw 3 women (all three white, all three slim/fit build with natural breasts). The girl on the stage as I arrived had a lot of tattoos and was basically wearing a one-piece swimsuit with the top pulled down. The next girl had no visible artwork and also natural B-cups, but also had the appearance of having previously breast fed, if you know what I’m saying. Second girl had a HUGE bruise on one of her thighs, an oval about 10” x 6”. Hopefully she just bumped into a table and wasn’t in an abusive relationship or car accident.