Horrible visit! Probably a club ad! Someone fetch Desert Scrub! Non topless topless bar! Probably a club ad! Someone fetch Desert Scrub! I won't be back! Probably a club ad! Someone fetch Desert Scrub!

A tale of two visits. A few weeks after my last review of this club in October, I stopped to see the girl I thought would give good dances but didn't get a chance to sample. She was there, and I sampled her. A bit of a mom bod, but very good sensual dances. I don't really remember anything else worthy of typing from that visit. This past weekend, I was in town and stopped again. On my two previous trips I had noticed a trend of not all the girls not getting topless on stage. I have been to many clubs over the years where the standard was top on during the first song, top off on the second song, and that was fine. I have also seen that some of the girls want extra money or multiple songs to get topless in the couch rooms. This night topped them all in a bad way, and ended my visits to Secrets unless they drastically reverse their recent course. I found a chair, got a red bull from the waitress, and settled in to see what was happening. The first dancer went through her two song set without removing her top. The second dancer went through her set without removing her top. Then the third. Then the fourth. The fifth. The sixth. The seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth dancers to come on stage did not so much as give a single brief flash. Not one. WTF good is a titty bar without tits?

The worst thing is, a steady stream of imbeciles were perfectly happy to shower ones on them anyway, for absolutely nothing. Get on stage, walk around in what amounts to a bikini, and have retards throw money at you. I wrote an article about this a few weeks ago about how the rainmakers were ruining strip clubs and in particular lap dances, but it was not accepted. The gist was, if a dancer can count on idiots to rain cash on her in exchange for nothing more than a smile, why would she show the goods. Why would she give any sort of decent lap dance. These celebrity addled jackasses have contributed to the decline of this entire hobby, and Secrets is the perfect example. If these dumbasses would stop their stupidity, the girls would have to begin working for their money again.

The entire time I was watching the parade of overpaid prudes on stage, a few different very cute girls came to sit with me, including in particular a very petite mixed girl that I would have spent money on in a different environment. They all asked it I was interested in couch dances, but I wasn't in the mood to haggle tits or no tits out. Finally, the eleventh girl got on stage, and pulled her top down and to the side enough let out the puppies. I was about to leave in disgust anyway, but Lo and Behold she turned out to be the mom body from my last visit when she stopped by. I agreed to a few couch dances at twenty each, tits out and hands on with a good grind, but her damn breath stank. Screw Secrets, I won't return to this club unless they change their vanilla ways.