Efficient - Review of Dollie's Playhouse • 6210 Forest Blvd East St Louis, IL 62204

Club Details: A dump. Very low-rent, and trashy. Immediately inside the rickety door is a ticket-man exchanging a never-needed ticket from a roll for a 3-buck cover charge. To the right, a short bar area. Ahead, several cheap tables with cheaper chairs, and a single stage with some of those cheaper chairs around it. And to the left...the two stalls that used to have beads dangling at the doorways, but now have plywood "doors." The Experience: I entered, paid the cover, got the pointless ticket, saw three dancers, noticed that only one of those three dancers would interest me at all... She was on the stage, so I sat in one of the stage-side chairs. She came over for the few dollars in tips I was holding, and she danced very suggestively. She was wearing t-back underwear only, and she moved that to one side as she spread her legs. No imagination needed in this club. During my approximately 90 seconds at the stage, which had followed my 45 seconds in the club to that point, she offered two options for a private encounter. One was a linguistics lesson, and the other was "everything." Everything? EVERYTHING!, she assured, unironically. She took a face-time call from some guy just on our way to the private stall, which was weird, but that only interrupted us very briefly. She was... efficient, direct, and (is professional the right word here?). Very, very accommodating. I was on my way from that club in a relatively short time, most of which was spent in the most pleasing of ways. The least wasted time of any club visit, ever. And since merely "hanging out" in this club would be no fun, and likely depressing, having the least wasted time here was a very good thing. Not at all what I would expect is typical in this dump, but this was a very good visit.