Couch Dances Are A Minimum Of 15 Overpriced Minutes

Club had a sterile feeling, and stools were spaced far apart. Barmaid checked my forehead for a temperature. There was only one "dancer"; a plump, brunette wearing glasses who couldn't pull off the sexy geek look. Overall, I'd rate her about a 4.5. She was friendly enough, and exposed her boobs with her nipples crossed with black tape, but just wasn't dancer material. Her name began with a "D", but it was forgettable and so was she. The barmaid had a sexy, tight, tanned body with fake titties and pierced nipples, which she gave a glimpse of. She too was friendly enough, but didn't give her name. Danced a great set and teased showing her tits, but couldn't because it's a bikini bar. She didn't make her rounds outside the bar, but remained behind it and only accepted dollar bills between her jugs. I'd say she was about a 6.5. Face was above average. The dancer told me they're only doing couch dances for a minimum of 15 minutes (I think they run about $10/minute). Customers must wear a mask and gloves, and the dancer can only face him from the back. If he's a regular, however, the girl can use her own discretion. There was no cover on this Tuesday evening, but a two drink minimum which the bar doesn’t always advertise. Thirty minutes of this boredom was more than enough and I took off. The music varied from rap to Ozzy Osborne. Dancers could be unmasked onstage, but had to wear one when they mingled. There were two other patrons in the bar. Kind of a depressing place.