Hard Pass

On my search for something, anything when I'm stuck with clubbing in Palm Beach, led me to try the Rhino. The last review here looked good, and had I found the "Colombian" cousins mentioned in the last review I would have been good, particularly for 10.00 dances. Unfortunately that wasn't to be for me.

I arrived a little bit after 5pm. 5 dollar cover at the door, so starting out on a shitty note. Can't see even a hint of the club which is hidden behind two big wooden doors. Had I been able to get a peek, plus a five dollar afternoon cover, I might have bailed right there. I walk in, and the place looks like a twin peaks in the sense that it looked like some sort of snow lodge. Very well appointed, and definitely gave off the "Gentleman's Club" vibe. but in noticing how nice the surroundings were, I noticed there weren't many dancers here, and those I saw, not my type or anywhere near it. There is one stage in the center. I didn't see any other stages, but the corner by the dJ was hard to see. I sit down and get a 7.00 domestic beer. Soon after that a dancer sneaks up and sits down next to me, and introduces herself... in a heavy eastern european accent. Even if you are super hot (which this one was not) for me this is boner poison. I exchanged the minimal amount of pleasantries, and then got intensely into whatever ESPN was showing on a TV facing away from here. After a few minutes she got the hint. I'm not seeing anything out there. Girls on the stage were just blah. The dancer seemed older than average. Look it's the day shift, so I know that you're going to get an older average range of dancers. And if forced to choose between a Milf and some chick barely out of high school, I'm taking the MILF every time. But these chicks were skewing old, even in the context of a day shift. I'm next approached by a woman who says that she does dances and massages, and seem to insinuate that her massages were very thorough. She has a huge set of bolt ons, which were probably installed during the first Bush Presidency, as she was oooooold. Additionally, she spoke with a very northeastern accent, which just seemed unusual for a dancer down here. Think a more gravelly Fran Drescher. Anyway I tell her maybe later ( I was lying) as I just got here. She then pulls her bra down to show off those Gen One fake tits to get a tip (so i guess that goes on here). As she walked away, I looked at her ass. While she never ever had an ass, it was apparent that what was there was long past it's heyday. lastly, the one black chick comes up and she also has a weird accent. She probably was the best looker there, and she was sort of the stereotypical AA that works exclusively in mixed, leaning white clubs. She says she is actually from Amsterdam, and while it's not her stage name, they did call her Dutch Chocolate. So while she didn't make my penis crawl up into my torso like the previous two dancers, she was kind of corny. So at this point, and with not appearing to look like it was about to get any better I just admitted that every further second in this club was just an absolute waste of my time. Coming from the perspective of what I like from a club and dancers, this was easily one of the worst experiences of my PL career.

Pros: If you're looking for white women, particularly old haggard ones. This is your spot. The physical club is very nice. The dancers seem friendly and professional. Does give off the Gentleman's Club vibe.