True Dive Club

I have been to the Dancin' Bare twice now, the first being almost a year ago on a weeknight and the second being last Saturday early afternoon, and I must say as a strip club it is not Portland's best by any stretch of the imagination. And as a bar it is simply a dive. The strippers run in the 3-6 range and the ambience and decor are dingy. I observed this the first time I went, but since I know mileage is always good in a Portland dive I decided to stop by a second time. I should have learned. It was the same the second time. I doubt I will ever go back to this club.

And it's a shame, too, because it has potential being spacious club and in a decent location being right off the I-5 to the north of the city. It's a dark and dull green-blue-red inside. The one bar in roughly the middle of the club has three sides, with two of them having a view of the three stages. Each of them is a basic square and they are at floor level. Only one was in use both times I was there. There are tables interspersed throughout the main floor and besides the far side of the bar there are decent views of all stages.

On this visit there were all of three strippers and five customers. I got a drink and sat down at the stage to check out the ladies. They all had some fancing skill but unfortunately I did not find one of them attractive. The first was a petite spinner with a punk rock / goth look. The second was easily north of 40 and possibly 50. She was definitely a seasoned stripper and her body was just starting to sag in places. The third was a chunky AA stripper. I passed on all dance propositions but tipped them each song. This visit was no different than my first. The strippers are simply not Portland's best and there are other dive clubs that have better looking strippers. I did not get a dance and I left before finishing my drink. With Portland having so many better options and a few even nearby, I'm not planning on going back to this club.