My happy place (on steroids)
I don't live nearby, but I like going to Sweet Illusions. Right now I seem to be on an annual frequency, but you'd think it was the bar from Cheers to me, it gives me the warm fuzzies every time. It's small, simple, with hardly any money spent on the classic 'upscale gentlemen's club' tropes. I hope nobody at SI would be offended by this, but it's more like someone spent the weekend turning their basement into a strip club for a party, but for some reason it's totally heartwarming. I've always had the feeling that everybody there really likes working there.
I've been going there for years now, and with the amount of time between visits, my impression is that I'm never seeing the same girls, bartenders or DJs working—and yet it always feels the same, in a good way. Let me explain. This part of Oregon seems to produce a steady stream of cute, white spinners...slender girls with perky, natural boobs and friendly attitudes. There will usually be a more heavyset dancer in the mix, but there really does seem to be an SI 'type,' and it happens to also be my type.
Bartenders: always friendly. DJs: their station is right by the door, so they're as much of a bouncer as you're ever gonna get. There's no cover, so all they do is welcome you in and explain that there's a two-drink minimum, and they do this in the most chill and friendly way. How do they enforce the two-drink minimum? I'm guessing it's the honor system.
I don't drink alcohol, so I usually get a club soda, which is $5. Because I'm a friendly guy in friendly place that I already love, I tip $5 on a $5 drink. In terms of lap dances, the girls have some latitude to set pricing in the semi-private area, where you pay by the song. This evening I felt like I was hearing what I've heard before, which is a $20/song rate which may or may not be topless (depending on the girl), and so you might also hear a $30/song rate for topless. Two-way contact has never been an issue here in my experience, with some obvious constraints around mouth contact and touching the kitty. The semi-private area is I think five padded benches with padded backs arranged around a room, so if other folks are in there, you're a little bit part of their experience and they're a little bit part of yours. I've never experienced a crowd in there, and have often had the semi-private room to myself with a dancer.
The VIP/Champagne rooms (more like booths) are quite private; it seems that there is one in the corner that is especially private, and if a dancer chooses that one, it could mean something. It has two padded benches facing each other. One is a little softer than the other, so a dancer who frequents these rooms might have a preference for her own knee-and-elbow comfort. The rate is a flat $30 that goes to the house (the bartender takes care of this), and then I've heard a pretty consistent $300/30 minutes, $600/60 minutes rate for these private dances, and all of that goes to the dancer. There are no cameras back there, and in that room in the corner especially, there's pretty much zero chance of someone catching a glimpse of anything while walking by. I have had several sessions back there, over the years, and I would call them good fun, higher-mileage, but still somewhat tame in terms of what can happen in some other parts of the country. Admittedly, I'm also a pretty polite customer who is rarely comfortable pushing the limits without some explicit encouragement to do so.
I'd been approached shortly after arriving by a really friendly blonde with a chill demeanor and an easygoing conversational style. She seemed like someone who could be a friend in other circumstances, and I don't mean that smokeshow friend you privately pine for. I asked her to remind me what the options were and what everything cost. I told her honestly I was still feeling a little full from dinner, and wanted to check the place out while my stomach settled a little bit. I moved to the stage and began dispensing singles. (I do enjoy tucking bills into a girl's thong.)
There were girls who were hotter, girls with bodies that were a little more traditionally my vibe, but after a few conversations with them, I realized I already missed the simplicity of my friendly blonde's approach. She has really beautifully-shaped natural boobs—a nice handful—a little padding in the tush, and is strong, perhaps sturdy-looking. I gave the signal that I was ready, and we booked a 30-minute session in the corner room (her choice). I had asked about her boundaries/rules, and her answer was basically 'let's go see,' which I took to mean we would have some fun, but no wild adventures awaited me. Well, I was wrong.
I will sometimes confide to a private dance partner that I have ED, and the reason I do that is that I want them to know that junior is often just unresponsive, even when I'm mentally aroused and thoroughly enjoying myself. I don't want them to think they're not sexy enough to get me hard—you know, take it the wrong way. I did that with my friendly blonde, and it seemed to make her bolder. She found my semi-hard member through my thin and slippery pants (finally I figure out what to wear to a club!), and worked it confidently. Meanwhile, she wants me to suck on her nipples (that was new for me at SI), and as we're getting close to the 30-minute mark, she pulls my hand down to her kitty, which was surprisingly wet. The punchline here is that I had been misreading her signals for quite a while now, and my excessive caution, my fear of a dancer suddenly calling for security in the middle of a private dance (I swear to God, that's in my brain somewhere) had prevented me from realizing that she really wanted me to make her come.
Once my brain finally processed what was happening here, I negotiated a ten-minute extension (so, a $400/40-minute dance) so that she could stand over me (her preferred position) and I worked her with my tongue and my fingers to bring her to a (silent, the noise in the club isn't that loud) O, as promised. There's no mistaking the internal muscle spasms, I know that it was real, and I have to say, it was such a treat. I haven't felt like anyone's viable sexual partner ever since the ED hit, and her asking me for this favor was also doing me a favor, giving me a little ego boost—like, I can still do this, I've still got it...
In NYC, I once had an experience a drunk stripper who shoved most of my hand in her kitty—she seemed really desperate to come—but the whole thing was awkward and uncomfortable, not actually very sexy, and whatever the opposite of this was. My friendly blonde at SI was sober (she doesn't drink), and had been trying to tell me in a very straightforward way what she was hoping would happen in private. but I didn't believe it at first. Amazing.
So clearly, this is not what everyone can expect at SI, and it's very different from all my other times there, but what a nice time my friendly blonde showed me. Of course, I'll back—because it's my happy place.
