Only club for miles and miles
It's been a long time since I was at a club and even longer since I was at Club 285 near Artesia, NM, but since I was driving that way and had some time, I thought I would see if it had been upgraded since my last visit a few years ago. I was happy to see it had been upgraded a little bit and they seem to be working with what they have available as best they can. I heard the building is an old steakhouse about 5 miles south of town on the east side of the road. They are only open on Friday and Saturday from 8pm to 2am.
Cover was 15 and at least for me, they did not ask to see an ID or pat me down. After entering the doorway and paying your cover, take a door to your right and you are in the club. This is a nude club, but not stage dances, so no alcohol allowed inside and you cannot bring your own inside either. One of the girls told me you could bring your own and leave it in your car and go out and drink. I'm sure there are no issues with that set up! But everyone seemed well behaved the night I was there. Bathrooms are immediately to the right after you enter, I did not use them so I have no idea if they are clean or a disaster area? The main room is about as small an area as I've ever seen in a club with the stage in the far left hand corner. Since this was an old restaurant the ceiling is low and that makes the stage very low and the dancers don't have much room to move up the pole either. If they decide to writhe around on the stage they nearly disappear from view unless you are sitting along the front row. There were about 10 small tables with a few chairs around each one in the area near the stage. During my previous visits the chairs they had were those left over from the old steakhouse days. The new chairs are more comfortable but still not the style I've seen in many other clubs, but the new chairs work. The stage is about 8-10 inches above the main floor level so if you are sitting in the front row you are sometimes looking down at the dancers.
No waitress, but a stand up cooler with bottled water, and other types of non-alcoholic drinks was sitting between the entrance and the bathrooms. A pool table was also in that general area. The room, or space to the south of the entry door formerly held a bar and at least one if not two pool tables. That space has been converted to a staff only room, and I assume the dressing room. A private dance area is along the east wall, also between the entrance and the bathrooms. Another private room is on the north side of the building and accessed from the main room. According to one very nice dancer, the first private room, the one near where the stand up cooler is, is for $20 topless dances. The other private room is for $35 nude dances and also requires a $10 entry fee for every dancer you want to take in there. Another dancer told me the dances, her dances at least, were either $20 or $25 for topless and $40 for nude, so make sure you get that straightened out with your girl before you go into one of those rooms. I specifically asked about the $10 entry fee for the nude dance room. If you take one girl in there you pay the $10 entry. If you want dances from another girl, you have to leave the room and pay another $10 entry fee for that room. A pretty good deal for the house, not so much for the customer.
There were 9 or 10 dancing girls working the night I went, most of them Latinas, but at least one or two white girls and no black girls. And I'm not sure if these reviews still use the 1-10 scale for how the girls look, but if so, I would say they ranged from 4 to 9 the night I was there. And there were 2 on the top of this scale, both of them very attractive. I had dances with one of them and she was exquisite. She could easily work at Baby Dolls in Dallas or Bourbon Street Circus in Phoenix. She was very good looking with an outstanding body. I was happily surprised by the talent level I found here. A few of the girls seemed to have favorites and these guys would crowd the stage as it were and tip their girls, but otherwise I did not see anyone just sitting and tipping as the stage is not really set up the way you would see in many other clubs. No one was getting lap dances in the main room, so I can only assume they just don't operate that way. The girls were dancing to two or three song sets and it was not common for them to even take their top off on stage, although some girls did. None of them danced on stage nude, that was reserved for the private room, $35 dances.
The girls I talked to seemed to like dancing there and it seemed they were well taken care of, or watched over by management, to keep them safe. I was happy to hear that as this is a blue-collar, rough-neck oil field crowd and I would hate to hear of anything getting out of hand. The girls were also a mix of local talent and those coming in from larger towns in the region. It must be a money maker for them to make the trip for two night's of work hundreds of miles from home. Not the best club I've ever been to, but not the worst either, I am very likely going to return next time work takes me to the area.
The room was not fully lit up but it was also not too dark. The private, nude dance room was not so dark you couldn't see, but also not bright, so it worked. There are only 3 loveseats in there, so I assume you actually could be left waiting for an opening before you can get in if it is crowded. The music was a mixture of Mexican and whatever the hell they play these days, but not quite Rap, and the DJ was tolerable. I have a low tolerance for DJ bullshit and this one was okay, although at times it was difficult to hear the dancers' names.
Parking, and the entrance door, is on the backside of the building away from the highway, and is a gravel lot. The sign is easy to miss if you are not looking for it, but there is really nothing else in the area, so if you are looking for it, you should be able to find it.
