Saturday Chillin

Saturday is for running errands, shoring up the "Honey-Do Lists, and taking a break after doing some work. This Saturday, my car decided it wanted to head towards Heavenly Bodies or (HB's). Having not been impressed on my most recent Visits, I knew that I could have a quick lunch for "FREE-98" and that my domestic beers would only set me back $1.50 per bottle. Having downloaded that discount coupon via text, I only had to pay $5 to enter this long standing shrine of neglect. For the uninitiated SC enthusiasts, HB's was a restaurant that used to be called the Old Higgins Cafe <featuring the Heavenly Body Dancers> who would offer Lingerie Shows during the Lunch Hour and Happy Hour for Businessmen and Construction Workers working near O'Hare. The guys would be able to "feel how the fabric could let their hands follow the curves of the Model" and imagine how their "better half" would look in the Lingerie. This evolved into other Bars and Restaurants offering similar shows and Chicago STILL did not have bonafide Strip Clubs until the 80's. As most of the South Suburban Clubs have become "Late Night Party Clubs" for the Gangsta element and "making it rain" to show one's current cash position; I opted to check out a safer venue in a safer part of the Chicago Adult Entertainment space.

The CLUB

This place offers NO Hint of Luxury other than the 15 or more flat screen TVs showing Sports on ESPN, GFS1 and the like. The potholes in the gravel lot should be a clue that they are not an upscale anything. There are no Bathroom Trolls, and the Door Man will scan your Drivers License for record keeping purposes, I imagine. You will be wristbanded after paying your cover and given a token to place in the subway like turnstyle to count admissions. Strange and archaic AF. The floors are concrete and you will be sitting on a barstool at Hi-Top Tables. It ain't designed to keep you there long. There are VIP Suites upstairs that will allow you to take the Dancer or Shot Girl of your choice for 5 VERY-shortened songs for $60 or you can do a 2 for $25 in the downstairs Less-luxurious VIP.