The Best of What's Left

After the closing of 1320 Club II this might be the only viable strip joint left in the DC area. The area itself is safe, and fairly easy to get to by Metro or VRE. The parking lot is shared, and very small - I wouldn't recommend driving. The interior of the club is your typical long and somewhat narrow storefront/restaurant; this is not a purpose-built establishment. The first section by the door is smoking, but it is isolated from the rest of the building by glass doors.

Make no mistake, Crystal City Restaurant is a restaurant; and the food isn't bad, actually pretty decent by strip club standards. The lunch special I had was very good; salad, steak, potato and beer for less than $15. Of course your bill will rise substantially as the endless dollar parade goes by your table; plenty of singles will be required to eat in peace. I grabbed a small two-person table for lunch, and then moved over to a booth to swill beers and watch the entertainment after. Dancers do a set on the main floor and then go into "the fishbowl" with the smokers for another.

Eventually I was joined by a buxom dancer who gave passable conversation and lots of promises. I did my depressingly-common test of the strip club ATM and was relieved that the fee was less than $5. There are apparently two dancing rooms, but I was led to the "more private" one in the smoking section. It was dark and had a pole, but a house mother was sitting outside the entire time and the dance itself left me feeling more hustled than satisfied. Always do a test drive!