Interview with a Strippire

Lap Club. It was visible from the doorway of Club Femme Nu as I was chatting with the bouncers about where to walk and get more cash. I hadn’t really been carrying that much cash because I figured all the downtown clubs would be horrible from the reviews, but then I came across a blonde dancer who had just enough looks to get things going once her drunken ass stumbled on stage and got down to her birthday suit. It’s an amazing thing to see a stripper drop to all fours and make her glory box go no matter how out of it she is. But I digress.

As I started walking to the bank, I realized that the sidewalk was torn up and that road was too busy and narrow to try and work it out. A detour was down an alley, and that alley happened to walk me right by the “front” entrance to LAP. The door is separated from the outside by a set of heavy drapes, so I push my way through and...Oh, fuck no. No no no no. Vicki was the older Asian dancer who wasn't trying to drag me to a table by force.

The first dancer (forgot her name) that saw me got up and headed towards me, entreating me to come in and sit down. She was very insistent on me sitting down, to the point where she tried to pull me by the arms to sit down. I’d already been tagged for a $20 drink at Club Hot Mess, so I wasn’t remotely interested in a Mama San appearing out of nowhere to hassle me to buy anyone another drink. Actually is was Club Hot Ash, which unfortunately for all involved was not close to being Club Hot Ass.