Long Legs and a Liquid Lunch

Having been an early and habitual visitor to the only Adult Establishment in this area during the 80's, I can assure you that the evolved changes have not changed a few elements: This still remains a great staring point for Dancers and Customers unfamiliar with our "hobby." This time of the year oft times remind me of the "Swallows (we wish) Returning to Capistrano" -- College Co-eds who have been convinced that their nascent and natural attributes are sufficient tools for earning several hundred dollars a day. I like New Faces and Asses to Assess.

The DEAL -- Customer agrees to pay anywhere from $5 to $20, have their Drivers License scanned and wear a wristband to gain entry into a non-Nude cinderblock building with concrete floors and surrounded by 20 or more flat screen TVs showing sports. You are sitting at high top tables on bar stools. ( just not the cushiest Gentlemen's Club decor ?) -- FOOD (since this joint is listed as a restaurant) is FREE and can be ordered off a Menu. Pub Grub, like Hot Dogs, Burgers, Fries, Grilled Cheese, Chicken, etc. (DO NOT ever eat the Free Pizza in the warmer by the Front Door) Your BEVERAGES are $1.50 domestic beers and $3 imports. Mixed drinks are extremely reasonably priced.

The DANCERS -- are Bikini-clad and have on way too many clothes to make an experienced club-goer excited. For a "newbie customer" - He will have found Nirvana ( not really a dancer by that name) -- Attractive Dancers ranging in age from 19 to 35+ in age who will approach you, rub on you, stroke your EGO (not Mr. Happy or da "Head of Household) and ask if you want to go back for 'private dance.' Your choice: 5 for $50 in the not-so-fabulous VIP or 5 for $60 in the mini suites. There are cameras everywhere and security will pounce on you like scattered currency on a ghetto street. WHY GO ??? The Dancers are eager to please and learning their craft. If you are also new to clubs , then you are equally matched. If you are an experienced 'hobbyist" -- you just may marvel at the candor and lack of "stripper shyt." I have made friends with waitstaff, bouncers and management through the years and would say that my visits are akin to going to "Breastaraunts"like Hooters, Tilted Kilt and Twin Peaks with lower food quality and the underrated ability to talk shit without getting thrown out.