Big Tits but No Pole

We came here after Hoops which had a pole but no girls on it. We wanted to see tits on a pole and this place had the tits but no pole. Anyway, this place was a little over the top. They tried to get us to do bottle service at the door for $350 so we could get a table but I said fuck that shit and paid the $20 cover instead. Once inside, our guy found us a table and we sat down to watch the show. The girl on stage didn’t have a pole to dance on so she looked pretty awkward up there. The main attraction wasn’t her anyway but rather the girls working the floor. You could look in any direction and see a chick grinding away on some dudes lap with her tits out. I guess you just get your lap dance in the middle of the club here. It looked like they had VIP rooms upstairs as well but I didn’t try any of those out. I just checked out the floor show with my girl for awhile before we went back to the room to bone. On a side note, a few girls approached offering me a massage which I figured out later is code for lap dance. I don’t know why the fuck this shit has to be so goddamned confusing. Can we just legalize prostitution already?