Just lost my virginity at the Hong Kong

Warning: I strongly suspect there will be some cringey moments. This is an in depth review of my experience at the Hong Kong Gentleman’s Club in Tijuana, as well as what happened afterwards:

Me: White Canadian, 25 years old but look 19, 6’0, 155 lbs, prior to tonight a touchless, kissless virgin, NOT ugly or deformed in any way. Let’s start from about 6:30pm.

I’d been lying in my bed in the hotel for 2 hours trying to muster up the willpower to go outside to the stripclub/brothel (it’s both). I wasn’t afraid, I just didn’t care to and would have rather slept. I finally went outside and bought 2 fish tacos for $1 each. Cheap and good. Then I walked over to the club entrance, the bouncer patted me down and asked me old I was. When I said 25 he stared at me for a solid 7 seconds, then let me in. As soon as I walked in a waiter ran up to me and (in surprisingly excellent English) asked me what I wanted. I got a Heineken because I don’t know any other beers, and he led me to a little table near one of the stages with strippers on it, where I sat down.