Trumpps’ America - Detroit Style

Incidentally, this is my 350th review on TUSCL. It’s also the 300th different strip club I’ve reviewed on TUSCL. I’ve seen a lot more clubs, hundreds more, but used to be hit and miss with writing reviews...

Trumpps is a mixed club, and I only saw black dancers, which I'm sure has some irony in it somewhere. This was the last club I saw in Detroit, mostly due to location rather than any particular interest in being there. This club just happened to be the one I was in when I decided I was tired of clubs in Detroit trying to lift every last dollar I brought with ticky tack, unnecessary charges. Forced valet parking, and Detroit clubs are not unique in this, is one of my strip club pet peeves. If your club isn’t generating enough revenue without the titty bar equivalent of baggage fees, maybe you should be running a better establishment to increase foot traffic. Valet fees are paid for convenience, not to inconvenience customers and charge them for the aggravation. I guess is just a sign of the times in today’s service economy where the mentality is it’s acceptable to charge more for less.

There’s street parking along the side of the club, however because the valets are dicks about it they'll literally walk around the side of the building to repark your car in their parking lot (in broad daylight) just because they want to. They really, really want to. On top of that, the more verbal of the parking lot minders (possibly the manager) attempted to over explain their vehement desire to take your keys and park your car so they can “look after it”. That’s awesome, but it’s a rental car and I could give two flying fucks if guys in black pajamas douse it in gasoline and torch it while I’m getting a lapdance. I’m only there to see if your club has any strippers on shift that I want to get dances from.