Dancer Busted my cell phone instead of my nuts!

I was truckin a load of shit stew through Kansas a month ago and I stopped by because I heard about the $10 dances that were full contact. These dances were a little out of my pay grade but the full contact got me comming in to try it out.

I hung out at the bar for a while and this hot little blonde number sat next to me and started the small talk. She was rubbing my leg and I started to get excited and she talked me into a dance or two. We get back to the dance area and she starts grinding the shit out of me. I had my old trusty flip phone in my pocket. She thought it was my manhood and proceeded to bump and grind hard as hell.

When I was done I left the club because I had a load of shit to dump. When I checked my phone it was broken. God dam bitch broke my phone!.