Tilac- the "Hangover Bar"

Tilac is perhaps the most famous gogo bar in Bangkok thanks to it's appearance in the movie Hangover Part 2. They even have a little handwritten cardboard sign out front that says "Hangover Bar". But I'll be honest, I wasn't really impressed with this joint. Why...

First and most importantly I didn't see any real lookers here. Most of the ladies looked a bit on the worn/tired side. Too many had prominent/ugly tattoos, c-scars or were just plain ugly. Some looked like Mr. Ed when they smiled and that's not something that gets me in the mood for a blowjob! And the ladies here seemed to be on the older side compared to some of the other clubs on Soi Cowboy, mostly in their late 20's and 30's. But on the bright side, at least all the ladies were actually real ladies, unlike in the movie. So luckily I didn't see any like " Kimmy"!

Second, when I was there it looked like it was only a bikini bar. I didn't get to see any T&A or pussy (that's fanny for all you bloody limeys reading along). Around the corner at Crazy House (my favorite club) the girls are all in the buff, most of the Nana Plaza clubs are at least topless and at Baccara the ladies all walk around in short dresses sans panties. There's also much better looking ladies at the other bikini clubs on Soi Cowboy, like Lighthouse, Shark, Sahara, Midnite, etc. Thus there were better choices available.

Finally, I felt hounded the whole time I was at Tilac. Much more so than any other club I visited with the exception of the Dollhouse (which at least had slightly better looking ladies). After I entered I was ushered to a table and immediately hounded to order a 160 Baht beer (about US $4.50). OK, that's standard fare for all clubs in Bangkok as it's like the equivalent of a cover charge but you at least get a drink. But then immediately they stuck me with a dame that I had no interest in who was pestering me to buy her a " lady drink" (an overpriced stale soda for which she gets a kickback from the club). So I try nicely to get rid of this ho but instead we're joined by another lady friend that I also have no interest in. So at this point I'm cockblocked and to make matters worse the mammasan (house mom/Madam) sits down at our table and joins us. This old broad was like a cross between Bloody Mary and Monty Hall. She was friendly and pleasant but very aggressive in her effort to make a sale. At this point it became obvious to me that there was no way in hell she was gonna let me walk out of that place without first soaking me for a bunch of watered down soft drinks and then sending me home with her leftover inventory. So after about 15 minutes of sitting there politely listening to the mammasan drone on with her sales pitch ("she love you long time", "she have beautiful pussy", "maybe 2 girl for you mister?"...) all while one of the girls was giving me an otp "massage", I told her that I had to do potty and I excused myself and pretended that I was heading over to the little boys room. That's when the layout of this place came in handy allowing me to slip out the other entrance/exit.