What's wrong?

This review is far later than it should be. Mea culpa.

My last two visits to Follies have been utterly disappointing. Previously, I reviewed a Monday afternoon visit when I spent way too much time and left with way too much $$$ in my pocket. This Sunday afternoon in Autumn, I spent a little more but left even more disappointed.

Arrived right about 1300 and they were just putting out the valet stand. Valetdude pointed me to an empty spot in the front corner of the lot & said "just self-park there for $5." Which was fine (better because I could keep my keys and not wait on them to bring my car) but he didn't have any change & all I had was $20s. Asked for change for valet at the door, and the 1 little girle turned to her friend, rolled her eyes, and said "gawd, take an uber." When I returned for the patdown after paying valetdude I informed them that their cute uber idea would have cost me 3x the valet price.

Inside after my eyes adjusted I found one hightop seat open but it looked occupied. Asked the guy next to the seat if it was taken & he said "yeah." Sat at a nearby table and surveyed the talent. A lot of AAs and Latinas, maybe 3 caucasians & none of them were my type. Dismissed some AAs & the "yeah" guy said he thought the guy who'd had the open seat was gone, so I could sit there. Cool but even once I moved the only girls circling were not at all attractive to me (older &or larger than my tastes) & the ones I did like didn't stop. My philosophy is that if a dancer isnt approaching me to ask for dances then she isnt going to give a very good one to keep me buying them. But I was on a tight schedule and had a hard 1500 deadline for leaving so after maybe 20-30 minutes I broke my rule and approached a young latina dancer who was the most attractive to me and appeared to be giving others good dances. First problem was that she barley spoke English. Second was we had to climb over several other couch dances in progress to get to the only open spot. Third was the bottoms stayed on almost the whole dance. Once they came off I got superficial access but nothing approaching FIV. This was the first of probably 4 or 5 one & done dances with various girls that had one thing in common - little to no stick shifting even OTP (& none up the leg of my 1 size to loose cargo shorts). WTF? On earlier visits, I've gotten more of a Follies handshake from dancers who were saying "well let me know" after I'd already said "no thanks."

This latina and a tiny blonde (more on her in a minute) later both tried the "no change" thing when I stopped @ 1 and proffered a $20. Didnt let it deter me. Got change from another girl or the bartender and paid $10 without any tip. What followed was a series of equally uninspiring dances back at my hightop. No stick shifting, limited lower access, and way more stripper shit. Some combination of those things ended each encounter with no interest in even a second dance. The rock bottom was the previously mentioned blonde. Tiny, pale skin, flat chested - all of those things okay if the dance is good. But this girl didn't have a brain. First, she spent at least the first 30-45 seconds my dance fumbling around with another highstool because it was missing the footrest/support bar. She explained that because she was so short she needed to stand on it to be at the right height for the dance. But rather than waiting, sorting it (or switching chairs with me), & starting over on the next song she just complained as she tried to figure out what to do. Then after spending some time giving a very distracted limited-access dance she suddenly stopped halfway through the song and said she'd fucked up by giving the last custie $5 change from a $20 on a two-fer. She just stood there telling me she'd f'd up and needed to find the guy. Then she'd dance for a few seconds and stop to say it again. She stopped at least 3 times for SS about her mistake. & then had the nerve to say she didn't have change for my $20. Not falling for that so I went to the bar for change and told her she could come with me if she wanted which she did. When I gave her the $10 I told her how unprofessional it was to give me half a dance while complaining about her own own $5 f/u. She had the nerve to say it was only 10 seconds. Nope I know how long it was and I only got half a dance.