Just don't - do yourself a favor and keep walking

After a few nights in Miami Beach you're bound to spend way too much money in overpriced cocktails, and let your impaired judgement drag you to bad decisions. Madonna is the only club within walking distance from the south beach party scene, and against my best judgement I decided in my drunken stupor to stop by on a Saturday late night.

To be honest, by its reputation I fully expected this club to be a clip-joint, a tourist trap of overpriced airdances - and at that point in the night I'd have been ok with that. I thought "I've been to worse places when drunk and bored enough".

What I didn't expect was for the "club" to be effectively dead at "peak strip club hour", empty of both customers and dancers - the few remaining staff manifestly bored to death themselves and doing a remarkable job of not-making-money. There were about four dances at best, with only one dancing on stage - and with the rail empty none of them was hustling for private dances, making small talk or interacting with any customers.