Lamp Liter review

The Lamp Liter is one of two clubs in Ottawa. There isn't a whole lot in Ottawa, except maybe some gas stations, a small airport nearby, Starved Rock park and a couple strip clubs. Lamp Liter is the (much) smaller and less "fancier" club of the two. There's a gravel parking lot and you enter into a dimly lit non descript building that doesn't look promising. I think there are a couple entrances to the building, but one is for the actual club; I don't know what the other one is. Once you get in, there's usually someone sitting or standing by the door or at the bar (very close to the entrance) who cards you and asks for a cover ($5). The place is kind of a hole in the wall. The actual bar is in a corner of the place so there's only two small counters to sit at for maybe 10 customers. Drinks are somewhat reasonable but not really cheap (like Skybox) either. They've got some more tables and seats scattered around the stage and by a pool table in the club. The stage is situated at the wall adjacent to the bar with a fake curtain entrance (think Admiral Theatre in Chicago, but without the real curtain entrance) where the wall is. Between the bar, stage and tables you could seat maybe 50 people in the bar (and it is more of a bar than a club). The bathroom is just an open trough with a separate corner roomed toilet with a nice view of an outdoor smoking section, so anyone watching outside can see you (above the waist, but still...). There just one small sink with bottled soap and a revolving/rolling towel cloth thingy; who knows how clean that is. The overall quality of the place is probably similar but even worse than Jimmy's in Chicago Heights.

There's no DJ either. The girls connect their phone to some music player by the bar and then they walk onto the stage via steps on the right and left side of the stage by that (curtained) wall. Now the girls literally look like next door girls that skew a little bit or a lot older. Some of them have implants so they may have been previous dancers (washed up even) that used to work at more traditional clubs. The club has a weird rotation of girls that changes every week, so you don't really have any idea who you're going to get outside of the schedule on the website (sometimes updated). There were only 6 girls on the schedule (although I only stuck around to see 4) with an average rating of about 6. Certainly no 9s or even 8s, but no real dogs either. They just looked like an average or above average young (or not so young) girl you might see on the street or random place of business, but just dolled up a little bit and wearing skimpy clothing. They get on the stage and dance to about 4 songs where they slowly start taking off the top maybe during the second song and maybe get naked (if they even get naked) during the last song. Since there's no DJ, you have to ask the girl to find out her name.

Not a lot of customers were at the stage, so some dancers will just keep on working the very few customer at the stage for numerous tips until either they or the customers get off the stage. There is also no naked leg spreading at the stage or good pussy views from behind or any position really, so it's even worse than the Admiral in that regard (where the girls usually only pretend to hide their pussy, but the eye is quicker than the hand...). You are allowed to touch/grab ass at the stage so there you go. You can do the same during the dances (on a chair along the remaining wall adjacent to the stage in open view of other customers) which I didn't bother with, since they were topless only and fairly minimal contact (think Skybox level contact or Heavenly Bodies really since no nudity) but for $20. You can get at least similar contact at the other Ottawa club (Silver Slipper) but with full nudity although the dance prices are $5 more but with better or even much better looking girls whom you can take to a room for $175-$300 per half hour/hour for possibly much more contact. Or a little (or a lot) less contact at the Admiral but for only $10 a song (table dance) but full nudity (half-assed though).