Not quite a Keeper

As I was passing through the area I heard an advertisement on the radio for Keepers Gentlemens Club in Milford.  I took that as a sign from above that the Almity was telling me to take a break from the traffic and go enjoy some T&A. I'd never been to Keepers before. So here's my first impressions...

The club is a very short 1 minute ride up the road from the I-95 interchange. As others have noted the club is located in a small run down (aptly named) strip mall on the left side of the road just before a traffic light. There's a decent size parking lot but when I got there it was pretty much full. So I ended up having to squeeze into a spot way on the other side of the plaza. No big deal as the area felt safe. It was early friday evening and there was a $ 5 cover. Upon entering the club I got wanded over and then a bouncer in a cowboy hat gave me a rather aggressive hands-all-over pat down ever though I'm a fat balding middle-aged guy. The layout has been covered by others so I wont waste too much time. Basically the club consists of just one room with a long rectagular bar that doubles as the stage running the length. The stage setup is not as weird as others have made it out to be. There's a few cut-outs in the stage so the bartenders can move around, otherwise it's just one big elevated stage with a pole on each end and a larger open bar area in the middle. Then there's maybe three or four small tables with stools along the wall opposite the stage with a couple of pool tables between them and the stage. When I was there the stage/bar was crowded and all the back tables were taken. Also there's another bar which is up a couple of stairs behind the stage but that area was closed/off limits. So seating was limited. The crowd consisted of mainly blue collar middle-aged to older gents. I didn't see any gangster/wangster types or couples either. The stage shows were a bit lame IMO. A few dames didn't even take off anything! And all the ladies stayed at least three feet away from the patrons seated at the stage/bar while on stage. So there was obviously no tits in the face or custies carressing thighs or ass at the stage. Nor was there any peaks or glimpses of pussy probably because of this uptight state's puritan liquor laws. This was a huge downer for me as I'd trade booze for box any day! A bottle of bud set me back $5. I'm not sure if food was available (I prefer to dine at the Y anyway;) My recent experiences have been that the female bartenders and waitress at most strip clubs have been better looking than the dancers. But not at Keepers! I'll just leave it at that:)

Ok now the most important part...the ladies. Here there's some good news and some not so good news.  First the good news, none of the ladies were ugly. On the other hand none were even close to being knockouts. I would put them all in the 4 to 7 range, with a few pushing 8? (maybe). There were about 15 to 20 ladies working. About 2/3 were white and most of the rest were Latina with two or three black girls. The Latinas tended to be heffers, a little too chubby for my taste. And the one that was good looking had a large unsightly c-section scar. The white girls tended to be either chunky and covered with large ugly tats, heroin-like skinny or look like trailer park trash. Again a disappointment for me as I'm looking for GND type college cuties. Not surprising none of the ladies looked like the chic on the club's website. Duhh!