Wednesday Night at the Whale

Tootsies is what it is, and while it is in fact a great club, there are some drawbacks to it. In pointing out the drawbacks, I don't mean to demean the club, because it IS a great club, and has a bazillion reviews for a reason. If you have time for one club in Miami, no grey area - go to Tootsies. However, for a couple of reasons you can get a more concentrated visit at a few other clubs. The size and space of the club is well known, so I won't bothering repeating here. I went on a Wednesday night, which for Tootsies seemed slow, but compared to some other clubs would be a packed night. Dancers themselves are of very good quality, mostly Latina (and a decent mix, mostly Cuban, but not all), but a fair number of white girls, slim AAs, and even an Asian (which is a rarity down here). Fair amount of Plastic here & inflated asses, but not all by any means. There is a back high top bar area at the end of the chairs surrounding the main stage. Dancers line up, leaning on the table and put on a show of some of the most tempting asses popping out in the area. Some are just leaning, and some will give an extra push out when you walk by to capture your attention. 1-2 dancers on stage, and they circle on a tip rail after. Unfortunately after that they go up to a VIP, and what I found out is the dancer that I was looking for never came down. In this regard, the 10.00 extra is worth it, as you have access to the dancer when they are finally off the stage. Some dances are a disinterested dancer circling a pole, however with others you will find some of the best dancing & pole tricks to be found in a non-black club. There is very little hustle, while some girls will approach you, if you see someone you want a dance from its best to make your interest known. The ones who do approach you, are professionals at spitting good stripper shit, so much so they make the wobbly do you want a dance at other clubs sound so amateurish. Some girls though, will dance, and as soon as it's over, run back to their crew to continue with the chisme, as if they are not there to dance, just only on stage when it's their turn. Because the club is so big (with an upstairs VIP) it is difficult to keep track of a dancer if you're trying to find someone you saw for a dance. It's also difficult to see everything going on, and lots of places for girls to hide. So this is my beef: While the space is impressive, on a non-weekend night, the amount of space is actually a drawback. The dances themselves were ok, not stupendous grind but sufficient. Although, I had to call a party foul on one lady. While I get that a working girl, will sometimes develop a bit of a working funk, that is part of the game & I accept that. But one dancer (inflated Cuban, who has almost jacked up her face with plastic surgery), when she bent over in front of me, her ass straight smelled of A-S-S. Baby wipes are a must, and that was a ruinous experience. However, the dancer I had my lap set on, never re-appeared after she was on the stage. I gave her a deadline, which I reset a couple of times, but eventually I had to let it go. I didn't get any food, though I thought of it, and it did look good. So in summary, yes Tootsies is a great club. But there are a couple of clubs, down here that pack the Tootsies experience into smaller confines. When you want the experience of saying "WOW" this is the place. But when you are trying to pick through a rotation of sexy ladies, and actually get in some lappers, without having to chase a girl down in the cavernous club like an Apache Tracker, there are a couple of better options. But if you, as one of the more recent reviewer noted, want to slowly sip a beer over the course of two hours (at pretty much anytime of the day) and watch a squad that most other clubs would call the A-team of their A-team, then Tootsies is the place. In summary, tootsies is amazing, and it is an experience, but if you are a focused individual on grind & LDs, there may be some better options.