Admiral review

Chicago tends to be the pits when it comes to strip clubs especially in the actual city where the rule is nudity and liquor are not allowed together. So most of the strip clubs in Chicago proper are all topless or worse. The lone exception is the one jewel in the wasteland of strip clubs that is Chicago. That exception would be the Admiral Theatre. It's been running strong for over 25 years and I remember back in the day where they used to have feature porn stars every weekend. Times have changed a bit, but not necessarily for the worse.

If you're not local, you'll probably have to drop $12 on valet parking, which I guess isn't too crazy compared to how expensive parking is in the city and how hard/annoying it is to find parking in general. Once you get inside expect to drop another $25 just to get in. A cute cashier girl will take the money and give you a ticket/receipt and stamp your hand with some invisible ink that only shows on a black light. There is a mandatory coat check, which I believe is free although tipping is appreciated; I've never used the service though.

As you walk toward the "theatre" entrance a bouncer will ask for the ticket and sometimes ask you to put your hand next to a black light by where he's standing. Then you walk down a roped stanchioned hallway into the club/theatre where another bouncer will ask if you want to sit in the VIP or the lowly main area. I've never bothered with the VIP so i have no idea how much it costs. I just tell him i'll sit in the main area in the center of the club with the other plebes and then yet another bouncer will usher you to a "seat." I say seat because you won't necessarily get a table. For a decent sized club, there aren't that many tables (at least in the main area). I would say about twenty or so with about 2 to 3 seats each, mostly 3 seats per table. They also have a row of seats alongside the three walls of the main area (the stage curtains are where the fourth "wall" would be). The back wall opposite the stage has about 15 seats or so, the left wall by the "bar" stage also has about 10 seats or so and the right wall by the VIP stage has around 5 seats. They probably devote almost half their space to the VIP section which gets some use, but i've never seen it filled out which is similar to most other clubs. And just like a theater, you may have to sit by a random stranger if only one or two seats are available. The place does fill out fast, especially late weekend nights. The clientele skews younger, especially since you only have to be 18 to get in, although you will have your share of suits and the occasional geezer as well. The whole layout reminds me of an old burlesque theatre. The atmosphere is clean and somewhat classy, with some Greco-Roman architectural themes. Not quite Atlantis or even PoleKatz or Ocean fancy, but nicer than Skybox or Jimmy's and similar to 390 or Club O. So you get escorted to your seat and then there's a one "drink" minimum to be in the club and a waitress will accost you right away to order a drink. Usually, she's pretty cute, but that's besides the point. The cheapest drink (non alcoholic) is $6 and a $1 or $2 tip (I usually tip $2) will mean you have already spent $45 before you've enjoyed any tits and ass (and pussy).