I was passing through the area and decided to stop by

I was passing through the area and decided to stop by. Last time I was in town I only checked out Silver Slipper and, since I had such a bad time there, didn't check out Lampliter. I pulled into their gravel parking lot and parked in the back of the club. There were a decent amount of cars considering it was early evening. As soon as I stepped into the pace EVERYONE turned their gaze at me...even the dancer on stage and the guy sitting stage side. It was really uncomfortable. I sat down at the bar (which is to the left right when you walk in) near the taps. As I looked around the place, I could see several eyes still fixed on me. The place is just a REALLY old and rundown dive bar. The bartender, Laura, was busy talking to people at the bar so I didn't get asked what I wanted for almost five minutes. And when she finally did it was "can I help you?" No smile or anything. More like I just crashed their private party. I asked for a Miller Lite tap and only paid $2.50. Laura went back to her regulars and left me to my beer.

There were only two dances there. Both were HUGE white girls that would get harpooned if they were to ever make the mistake of swimming in ocean waters. The guy at the stage enjoying one of the fatties was an overweight farmer type. Another man wearing a ball cap and flannel shirt, who looked like he was in his seventies, sat at one of the tables across the room watching the "stage show". The other big dancer was sitting across from me talking to a guy at the bar. Another guy next to me was talking to Laura about how they used to drive their snowmobiles to Lampliter. Everyone had a country accent, which surprised me since I never considered Ottawa to be the country. Fortunately they have a pool table and electronic gambling machines to help take your mind off the horrible dancers.

I was just about done with my beer when the big dancer across the bar shuffled over to me. She introduced herself as Emily and asked if I wanted boobs in my face. I declined, telling her I was on my way out but she stayed for a bit and made some small talk with me. She was nice but there was NO WAY I was going to let some girl who wasn't my type talk me into giving her my money. I finished my beer and ran out before the other big dancer made her way over.