I was on vacation in Michigan...

I was on vacation in Michigan for week and hit two strip clubs each in Battle Creek, the Detroit suburbs, and Grand Rapids. This is the second of six reviews from that trip.

After my very enjoyable time at Heart Beats on the west side of Battle Creek late on Friday night, I decided to venture over to the east side for my first visit to Hots. Now that I've seen both, I would classify Heart Beats as a neighborhood bar with strippers, whereas Hots is much more of a "gentlemen's club". That's not really my thing -- I would generally choose Silver Criket or even Bogart's over Flight Club near Detroit, or Club Rio or even Babe's over PT's in Indianapolis -- but I had to check this place out.

Hots is located in anindustrial area about 3 miles east of downtown Battle Creek. The exterior makes a very posh impression, and the inside is also quite impressive for a strip club in such a small town. I paid $5 cover, bought a domestic beer for $6 or so, and sat rather far from the stage (unlike at Heart Beats, where I always manage to snag a stageside seat). Pretty soon a bosomy beauty joined me for a drink and enticed me to get lap dances by guaranteeing "You'll be satisfied or you'll get your money back!". I know that this is a line intended to pull in the suckers, but it worked. Once we were safely ensconced in a nice private dance booth with a curtain, she clearly made it her mission to ensure that I came, which, four dances later, I did. Dances were $20, and I think I gave her $95. (Why not $100? Weird, I know.)