Aloha, brothers and Lopaw. I...

Aloha, brothers and Lopaw. I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, there is no good news. The bad news is, well, plenty.

Let me start by saying that I knew not to have high hopes for this sorry excuse for a shithole already. Speaking of shithole, that's what this place smelled like. Me thinks that Femme Nu is Hawaiian for "Smells like raw sewage". I've been too many a dive, some in Mexico, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Puerto Rico, and Argentina and none of those third-world juke joints stunk like Femme Nu.

As I walked in, I noticed all of three customers, one bartender, one serving wench, and 4 dancers. Except for the bartender who served me a $2 Budweiser, the one and only good thing in this den of dereliction, not a gal even noticed I was there. I sipped on my cerveza and peeped out the scene that was non-existent. After about 20 minutos of despair, I decided to cut my losses and exit, stage left.