I went to the Admiral Theatre...

I went to the Admiral Theatre on a Saturday evening around 8pm. The club is located in a so-so neighborhood that is Mexican and Arab. You probably won’t get harassed or anything, but there was a bum digging through the trash can about fifty feet from the club entrance. There is no free parking lot. Your options are either valet parking for $12 or finding parking on the street. Parking is $2 per hour on the street up until 10pm. After 10pm, street parking is free. The cover charge is $25, and there is a one-drink minimum that is enforced. A soda was $6. A nonalcoholic beer (Kaliber, O’Doul’s) was $8. There is a coat check; I am not sure if it is mandatory. Since you only need to tip the girl doing the coat check, why not get rid of it for a buck tip? When you walk into the club, you hand your receipt to one of the bouncers and they seat you at a table of their choosing.

The Admiral Theatre was an actual vaudeville theater built in 1927 that was turned into a strip club. If you pay for a VIP admission, you sit in an elevated area of the club with nicer seating. If you pay for just the $25 admission, you sit in flimsy chairs at very small tables in front of the stage. Along the sides of the theater, there are booths for lap dances. The balcony of the theater is where the private rooms are located. The stage is large and has a peninsula built out from the original vaudeville stage that juts out into the crowd. There is no pole. One dancer was on stage at a time. The DJ’s perch is where the projectors used to be at the back of the theater. The club has a $15 ATM fee. Get your money from the Chase ATM at the Walgreen’s a half block away. This club used to get pornstars to feature dance once every month or two up until about five years ago when they stopped bringing them in.

Most dancers at the Admiral I’d rate as fuckable after sneaking in a couple airplane bottles and chugging them out of sight of the bouncers. Most of the dancers were either white or Hispanic. At least one-third of the dancers were Russian/Eastern European. There were no black or Asian dancers when I visited. After the club’s gouging of guys on admission and mandatory drinks, there were few patrons willing to tip the stage. No dancer got more than $10 during a two song stage set, most fewer than $5. You get no contact at the stage. No stevie’s and no putting their legs around your shoulders. The only thing you can do is slide your bills in her g-string and watch up close. The DJ would kind of insult the crowd when no one was tipping at the stage. The dancers here push hard to sell booths and rooms. Dancers have a steep fee to work a shift, so they are looking to hit a home run with a sucker.