I went to Visions on a...

I went to Visions on a Saturday afternoon. The club is located in a rundown area of New Orleans East. The parking lot is gravel and lit up at night. There is a free entrance pass on their website, otherwise cover is $4 during the day and $8 during the evening (after 7pm). Paid admission included a ticket for a free beer. Domestic beers are $4, imports are $5, water is $3, and a soda is $3. Cocktails and mixed drinks were anywhere from $6 to $12. The male staff (bartender, bouncer) was actually very friendly and made you feel at home. The layout of the club is dominated by a huge bar with about 250 feet of frontage. The bar is two large peninsulas (kind of like a set of boobs). There is a pole between the two peninsulas at the base of the cleavage. Dancers start out at the pole, then make their way around the top of the bar, stopping to dance a little for every patron. You are expected to tip every dancer at least a dollar. The back of the club has a couple pool tables, video gambling, and a vending machine. Visions had a lot of televisions playing college football, which I appreciated on a late Saturday afternoon.

The dancers at Visions were mostly 5-7’s with an odd 8 every once in awhile. The women are more girl-next-door than supermodel types. Most were white, black, or Creole. All of the dancers I interacted with seemed to be friendly and upbeat even if you only tipped them a buck when they came by. The level of hustle and rudeness was way below what you experience in the Bourbon Street clubs, where it is all about conning you out of your money as quickly as possible. I hit it off with a young MILF dancer with a rack and ass to die for. We talked and drank for a half hour, then did some dances. Then we talked and drank for another half hour before getting even more dances. By the end of the set, she was making out with me. The $20 dances provided no contact, and everyone seemed to avoid them. The $30 dances allow contact, but how much depends on the dancer. A bouncer would walk through the area every couple of songs. There is also a half-hour room, but every dancer had her own price on top of the $100 fee to the house for this option. The dancer I spent the afternoon was one of the non-extras dancers who did not do private rooms because she claimed the couches were coated in jizz.

One nice touch was that the club provided free food for lunch and dinner. It was either from a caterer or party trays from the grocery store. One tray had fruits, one had small sandwiches, and one had cheeses and other snacks. They also had a bag of the greatest bread on Earth, Leidenheimer French bread.