This visit to the Porthole Pub...

This visit to the Porthole Pub left me singing along with Freddy Mercury--"fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round." No beauty queens in this locality--the Porthole is a blast if your expectations are calibrated.

The club is easy to find, just east of I-95 on Sample Road, part of a small strip mall. Plenty of parking during the day, no charge. Inside the door, there is a large open square bar, where most of the customers and dancers hang out. There's a rail along the west side, and a small stage on the bar's south side, with a few (empty) tables and chairs around the stage. The club is a little run down, but clean, with a good bartender and decent drink prices. Dancers were either young(ish) African-American, or older Caucasian; some of them looked to me like they should have retired a decade or so ago, but hey--to each his own. Basically, you sit at the bar, get a drink, and wait for circulating dancers to stop by, say hello, and grab your crotch (known as the "porthole handshake." Once you're expecting it, it's a pretty cool way to go; it's all a matter of finding a dancer who appeals to you. I found a curvy AA girl with a blond weave and an incredibly soft touch; we proceeded to play for over an hour, occasionally coming up for air and a sip of our drinks.

Tips are appreciated; there are lap dance booths, which seem to get the most business during the once-an-hour two for one special. Dances are $25 in the booth, each of which seats two. I did not inquire about extras, but they seem to be available from the right dancers. Overall, the Porthole is a fun place to kill an afternoon. In 6-8 visits over the past 2 years, I have never had a bad experience.