Santa Barbara is spanish for "Barbara Streisand would you plz give me a handjob"
Santa Barbara, CA. Friday night. Just came down from Santa Maria. This is like one of the wealthiest areas in America, Montecito, Goleta, Carpentieria all this stuff out, unreal wealth. Gorgeous area. Club is in a safe spot, plenty of parking either in the lot or on the street shouldn't be an issue. But as always in California read those signs, they are always looking to give out chicken shit tickets, that's how they roll here. You got all these palm trees lined up outside the club, I will never ever get tired of that, looks so damn sharp.
Walk in, cover is $20 or $25, free military. Not a big joint, from the entrance, bathrooms are on the right here, atm is also right there, that way is also where you exit. Right in front is just a few chair and tables, not a big room and one stage, it's a pretty intimate enviorment. Also pretty upscale, most spearmint rhinos are. To the left is the dance area, $30 a song and they sometimes do 2 for 1 everyone now and then, wait for that. $220 for 15 minutes.
Dancers, there a lot of veteran dancers here with too much silicone. It's OD. Age wise 20's through 40's. All races, white, latina, asian, black all there. Nobody fat. Mostly thin to average body types. Overall decent lineup but you'd think with it being in Santa Barbara you'd have maybe a little better on the lineup. It's a spearmint rhino so check roll call looks like for yourself, as Spearmint Rhino posts it for all it's locations on the websites. https://rhinosb.com/roll-call/
The only girl I was really looking to take for dances was some girl named Kimmy. White girl, black hair, 20 something, small but nice tits. But that ass was freakish. I wasn't sure if it was fake or not, it might have been but if not really just incredible. That fact that I can't tell is a good sign but it might feel different hands on. Anyway we were vibing when she was on stage but another guy asked her to sit with him in the corner. And she did that the rest of the time I was there. One time when she went to tip the stage I said "Hey Kimmy!" and pointed to VIP and she just looked at me and kept going back to her corner. Totally blew me off, I wonder how much that guy was paying? Or maybe it's because I'm so God damn revolting, not ruling it out.
A couple other girls I was talking to. Literally sat down to scold me about asking about the possibility of extras (only in America) That's kind of the vibe I got from this place. I talk to girls to get a sense of how far my money will go back there. That is a job interview as far as I'm concerned and man was I getting some shitty feedback. Cameras are in VIP, it's clearly not an extras joint but some of these girls were so offended they had get super nasty with me jesus I'm just asking about sucking your boobs, I'm not jack the ripper. I apologize for having a dick. Anyway I passed on dances here fuck this place, a lot of girls are total prudes, it ain't LA. Other than that I was interested in most of the lineup. One girl was all over me saying how she like's a real man and everybody else here is a metrosexual, see maybe I'm not so bad after all. Or she was just desperate. Let's go with the former and keep it moving.
Customers, we are in Santa Barabara you would think there would be some high flying, white suit wearing, Rick Dugan looking dudes up in this bitch. Nope mostly hispanic and asian kids that looked like they were still in middle school. I need to see some ID.
I was a little disappointed, in towns I'm a big fan of, I always like to make some good mongering memories I really tried but it just wasn't gonna happen here. I left out for Oxnard. BTW it was fucking torrential outside. Just my luck when I'm Cali it's the storm of the century.
