For a long time I've been...

For a long time I've been reading Smokeybear's rants about how this is the only strip club in greater Chicagoland that (a) allows two-way touching and (b) isn't in the "ghetto". (Of course his definition of the Chicago "ghetto" is from Lawrence Ave. on the north side to the Will County line on the south and from Cicero Ave. to the lake, plus adjacent parts of Lake County, IN!) I had business in Chicago the next day, so I arranged to arrive the day before and check out All Star Bar & Grill rather than my usual afternoon haunts: Club O in the Harvey "ghetto" (well, that's certainly true) and Club 390 in the Chicago Heights "ghetto". I think I will address Smokeybear's claims sometime in an article so that we can have a public discussion of flash mobs, the meaning of "ghetto", etc.

I ate lunch in nearby Lyons and arrived at All Star at 12:30. A beer was $4 and there was no cover. There were three other customers and two dancers: a somewhat overweight older white girl and a very overweight older white girl. Each was grinding on one guy after another at her favorite bar stool in a corner of the room containing the pool tables, basically out of sight of the bar and stageside tables. I got one $10 dance from the less corpulent of the two dancers, which turned out to be enough to accomplish the mission! Despite the disadvantages of wearing a bikini top and pantyhose (both mandatory here), she managed to do such a sensual grind that she got me off in just one song. Total cost: $20 for beer + tip and dance + tip and 1/2 hour of my life.

Nevertheless, I doubt that I will visit here often. I honestly feel no fear in the south suburbs and have always enjoyed my many visits to the strip clubs of Harvey and Chicago Heights: approximately 20 times at Club O, 15 times at Club 390, and 3 times each at Skybox and Jimmy's, almost all of which have ended happily -- and I can grab all the tits and ass I want! By the way, Skybox offers 5 nude dances in a private booth with curtain for $50, and Jimmy's always has $15 topless dances and often has 2-for-1 specials. I would recommend All Star only if you're already in the Lyons/Riverside/McCook area and are satisfied with a cheap grind from a dancer with too many clothes and not enough beauty.