sinclair's Review
I went to Busty Hearts Place around 22:45 on a Saturday night. The club is located off the grid in the mountains of northern Pennsylvania, which is probably why the last review was eleven years ago. The parking lot is gravel and grass. At the door, there was a $20 cover charge. The club does not have a liquor license, so they allow customers to bring their own booze. They have refrigerators to store your beer in. Smoking is allowed inside.
The inside features an L-shaped stage with a tip rail surrounding it. There is a spinning pole at the junction of the two arms of the stage. The room is cluttered with chairs and random decorations; it looked like an attic or basement. There was a dancing Santa Claus in one corner and a jack-o-lantern figure in another corner. There was a “Fuck Joe Biden” flag on the wall, and a Sinclair Gasoline clock with my picture.
There were three dancers working. Ramona, Cougar, and Lizzy. Ramona was Hispanic and Italian with fake D cups. Cougar was white with D cups. Lizzy was white with B cups. All three dancers would be on stage at the same time, unless one went to the dressing room. Interestingly, none of the dancers had stilettos. They danced in gym shoes or barefoot. Dancers got topless on stage. Dancers could only get fully nude during private dances. Customers could touch the dancers on stage and insert tips into their outfits. A playlist of music was looped from a laptop.
I took one for the team to see what kind of fun was available in Private. Private dances are fifteen minutes for $60 or thirty minutes for $120. You prepay Busty for the private dances. They take place in small rooms with beds and closing doors. They are essentially narrow closets built into the front wall of the building. You lie on your back, and the dancer simulates fucking you in the cowgirl position. When your time is up, a light above the door flashes. The closets have two opposite facing cameras inside. Extras were not possible, but the dancer told me she could masturbate and squirt on me. I told her, “No thanks”. I didn’t want to drive home wet and sticky.
The club is named for its owner Busty Heart. She is a woman who has massive breasts (38H cup) and is a minor celebrity. She is best known for playing Etra in the movie The Dictator. She tries to suffocate Aladeen (played by Sacha Baron Cohen) to death with her enormous mammaries. She has also been on America’s Got Talent and Botched. At one point during my visit, Busty Heart came out and shoved her boobs in every customer's face. Then she started smashing beer cans with her boobs. She was okay with guys taking pictures and filming her topless.
Busty Hearts Place will celebrate its thirtieth anniversary in a year. The doorman was eighty-four years old. I gathered that he was Busty Heart’s ex-husband and business partner in the strip club. There were two friendly cats wandering around the club. They were the only pussies I got to play with. The BYOB element and affordable bed dances were positives, but the club could use some younger and fitter entertainers. This unique strip club is worth a stop if you are working or staying within twenty-five miles, but it is not a place I would drive any significant distance to visit.
