I went out again tonight to...

I went out again tonight to Mettler's, as usual. I want so badly to break these two bad habbits I have of drinking way too much and spending way too much on these strippers, but I cannot seem to do it. This one girl there tonight, named Brittney was so extremely, wonderfully beautiful that I could hardly stand it!! I would literally do anything if she would be my girlfriend. There were about 7 or 8 girls dancing tonight, but none of them were anywhere nearly as cute as Brittney. She danced for me 2 times and I asked her to come back again and was disappointed because about 4 minutes before the lights came on I saw her standing up by the DJ booth fully dressed and looking like she was ready to leave. I kind of stared and her until she actually came over to me and offered me another dance. She was fully dressed and ready to leave by this time and I felt kind of special that she was going to stay to dance for me one more time. She was so beautiful and so sexy. She was wearing a pink, long-sleeved sweater and blue jeans and stripped down slowly for me to her red, lacey bra and panties and then took her bra off and looked so delicious and soft and smelled so good that I could hardly stand it!!! Anyway, after the song ended, I pulled out my $5, which is the normal price for a dance, and she said, "Can't you double that for me?" and gave me a huge, cute smile. I said, "What do you mean?" and she said that she wanted $10 instead of $5 since she was almost out the door already and stopped to give me one last dance. I paused and almost didn't give it to her, but she was so cute and so beautiful and smelled so good and had on such a cute, red, lacey outfit that I just couldn't turn her down. She was so beautiful! I would have done almost anything if she would have come home with me and let me kiss her and touch her and fluff up her wonderful soft, thick, fluffy blonde hair, and lick her from head to toe and to make love to her. I am so depressed that it didn't happen. I knew that it would not, and yet I feel so alone and depressed that I didn't get Brittney or any of the others to come home with me. I guess I should be used to it, because it happens every night, but I still just cannot get used to it. I want one of those wonderful, soft, young, perfumed girls to be my girlfriend and to come home with me. I hate being here alone again so much!! It literally hurts deep inside of me to be so alone and not to have some cute, soft girl to hug and kiss and etc.!!! I hate it!! I hate going to bed alone, which I know I will be doing again in a few minutes!!!