I'll keep with tradition and mention...

I'll keep with tradition and mention that D.C. doesn't allow lap dances by law. So if you can get past that, Archibald's is probably one of the better places to go. Dark, 2 stages down below and 1 upstairs; once the downstairs fills up the bouncer starts channeling people upstairs to keep a good mix (allegedly), but since I guess I look broke and alone I tend to get relegated upstairs most of the time, so show up with a couple friends who look flush and you'll have a better shot at catching two eyefuls at once. Just not too many because space tends to get limited, especially on weekends. Dancers always get fully nude on every stage, and the ladies rotate to every stage during their shift, so no matter where you sit, you'll see something you like eventually. If you want to tip the dancers while they're up there, get in line and then drop dollars (or whatever, just don't get too crazy because surprise this ain't Vegas), since the stages are somewhat isolated from the tables. You can chat a little bit and some dancers will let you slip cash in their leg straps, just don't make any sudden moves like you're going to touch the porcelain (or ebony) doll. After their dance, they'll make the rounds, so make sure you have a dollar for each dancer that comes around. Drinks are way overpriced compared to most places in the country, but if you're used to D.C., they'll only seem slightly overpriced, if not reasonable. The bartenders/waitresses will inform you of the club policy to fill you up every half hour, but the more crowded it is, the easier to nurse and get away with it.

As for the ladies themselves, it's a decent mix of ethnicities, skewing more towards Generic White and Vaguely Eastern European, but I've always seen at least one black dancer on the rotation and usually someone who looks like they hail from somewhere on the vast four-letter continent. The one unifying factor, though, is the ladies are all in good to excellent shape, ranging from thin to athletic to Jayne Mansfield. If you've tipped conspicuously enough that she remembers you and she isn't busy with another roller, she might come by and chat with you in between her dances, but I haven't spent enough to crack the code nor have I been particularly interested, since from what I can tell they don't want to get to know plebes outside the club.

All in all, it's a clean place with strong drinks, beautiful women, and very few surprises. If you find yourself in D.C. and want to chill with some eye candy up close, you could do way worse.