You're familiar with jokes like "how...

You're familiar with jokes like "how many ---- does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" I've got a variation: how many strippers does it take to dance? OK, when I go to clubs off exit 22, I stop first at Midnight Express because it's had fewer recent reviews here. I walk in, a dancer accosts me immediately and asks my name, but doesn't give me hers until I ask her. Then she asks if I want a dance. I say I'm new there, I'd like to get the lay of the land. She asks if I want a drink. I ask if she's a bartender. I guess she thinks she's being helpful, but its a dark club and I haven't even had time to look around to find where the stage is. Then I try to explain that I'd like a minute to look around before being peppered with questions. The only way I can find the stage is because the poles reflect the light from the bar. Its so dark on that side of the room that I can't even see if there's anyone dancing. Turns out there's not. So I try to slow her down and explain hey, I've never been here before, let me get my bearings. So I look around, and tell her, OK, there's the bar, the stage must be over there, etc. I say it looks like there's no one on the stage. She says no one's dancing because there are only three dancers there.

Hence the bad initial joke. But I'm serious: I've been to plenty of clubs where they might have a pause between songs, but once there are customers, someone gets on stage, if only advertise. Some guys want to see a lady dance before they commit to $5/minute with her. And there were like a half dozen guys there, all at the bar chatting with the dancers.

Anyway, she asks if I'd like her to dance. I say no because I don't know the rules here, is that a weird request? It would be at a lot of clubs. She asks "have you ever been to a strip club before?" I say yeah, but I've never been to this one. She's getting pissed that I'm giving her grief, I don't know why she's working so hard to piss me off. Except for a bit of a belly she looks pretty decent, I might have gotten a dance or five from her if she'd been a tad less pushy. Look, let me figure out whether I want to get a drink, or sit by the stage, or whatever. At least give me time to look around the damn club.