Because I live within walking distance...

Because I live within walking distance of Christie’s I’ve never gone there. I’ve been afraid that a neighbor might see me going in or coming out. What a wuss. I’ve been seeing the glass as half empty when I should have seen the opportunity to empty some glasses. Since I don’t need to drive here, I can get stinking, shitfaced drunk.

So imagine my disappointment when I found out that there is no beer on tap. I had assumed that a classy joint like this one would have a couple of microbrews or imports, but they’re available in bottles only. The next shock was that they don’t have brandy. What kind of bar doesn’t have a bottle of brandy in the house? The well drinks seemed weak, but at five bucks that’s not a problem. I can drink my whiskey straight up, but choices would be nice. The DJ pushes the champagne room experience, but at $150 a bottle and up, the dancer you take with you had better be something else.

The interior of Christie’s is lavishly decorated in Romanesque wood and mirrors, with fern arrangements here and there. I guess that keg beer would have pricked the high-class image it was supposed to project. On Sunday night, the patrons were mostly dressed in T-shirts and jeans or shorts with some in baseball caps, which made everything else seem pretentious. A food menu looks like that of a mid-priced surf and turf restaurant, with appetizers starting at $6, and steak and lobster topping out the dinners at $40. I don’t touch the food at strip clubs, but what was served to people around me looked very good. Like most clubs and restaurants, there’s a sprinkling of televisions around the place.