The address description on the TUSCL...

The address description on the TUSCL listing for Montana Hideaway says "Way out East of town..." That's for sure. I went searching for it on a lark, and was pleased to have done so. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it doesn't open until 5 o'clock; I arrived about 4:45, expecting it would have been already open for a few hours. Since I'd gone so far out of the way, I wasted enough time around there to check the place out when it opened.

At first, my expectations were very low: the place looks very low-rent inside, almost trashy. There's a tacky "three-pronged" catwalk of a stage, with mirrors behind and on the sides, and little lights all along it. Poorly-made cardboard signs adorn the edges of those mirrors, advising: "Stage seats, 1 dollar x 1 song x person, minimum." The walls are painted an awful red, except for the restroom and dressing rooms, which are an even worse green. More about the bathroom in a moment...

Because I was unsure if I really wanted to stay, and because the "show" would not begin until at least 5:15, the doorman allowed me to check out the place and hang around for awhile before deciding if I wanted to pay the $10 cover. That was nice, and although my impression of the place was poor, I did see one interesting woman milling about, so I paid the cover when the doorman returned to ask me if I wanted to stay. I was only there about a half-hour from that point, but I made the right decision. The woman who caught my interest came over and introduced herself (name withheld for this review), then sat down to talk. She was quite friendly, and had a lovely smile to go along with her remarkable all-natural figure. She asked if I wanted a dance, so I asked where we might have that dance. She pointed to a doorway to the left of the stage area and explained it was the "VIP Room." $20 entry fee, which gets you an armband so you can enter the VIP area again on the same visit, $20 per dance inside. I asked her if I needed to be aware of any rules, and she assured me I did not. She was not teasing.