Why, oh why can I not...

Why, oh why can I not learn from experience!

I've been to the Poodle before, I know it is not worth the visit, yet every few years I return and regret it each and every time!

To start off with, the cover is $20, administered by the skeeviest surliest thugs available in the Bay Area. Physically, the club itself is decent, the stage is nice, the shower show is a neat idea, the music is at a very tolerable volume for a strip club, and California's greatest invention - no smoking allowed!

However, the selection of ladies leaves much to be desired, of the 8 girls working, one or two might have rated a 7, the rest topped out as 5s, even back before they got fat. To top it off, the piss-poor lapdances available run at $40 per song! And after handing that over to the biker behind the bar, the dancer will have the balls to demand you "motivate" her before she dances, which she then does on a pole 3 feet in front of you! No contact on the customer's part is allowed, enforced by both videocameras and rigid staff oversight. AaarRRgh.

The only real positive mark for this club - because they're not serving alcohol anyway, they don't bother to push ridiculously over-priced drinks at you. A coke or juice will only run you $3. Sadly that truly was the highlight.