It is a travesty that this...

It is a travesty that this place has a rating on tuscl of over a 7. Only under incredibly lame Chicago standards for strip clubs can this place be considered above a 5. The place has great potential – nice setting in a refinished old theater, and a good number of attractive girls. However, the place falls far short in most respects. The first irritation are the costs. When you combine the charge for valet parking (hard to find a place nearby on the street), the entry charge, drinks, etc. the price to get in rivals a Las Vegas club. I don’t mind paying a few bucks to get in, and I don’t mind a little extra for the safety and convenience of valet parking, but the prices here are over the top given what they have to offer.

The club bills itself as nude, but this is only true at a very technical level. On stage, most of the girls take their bottoms off for only for a few seconds at the end of the last song. Plus, many of the girls stand towards the back of the stage for much of their sets (especially for the brief nude scene) so you can’t see them very well. Some of the girls even held their hands in front of themselves when they took their bottoms off. One of the strangest things I have seen in a while in a strip club – strippers who seem embarrassed to be naked. Even when there were people at the stage tipping, the girls tended to dance at the back of the stage and not interact with the crowd. One couple came up to the stage and build little designs out of lots of dollar bills to try and liven the place up, but most of the girls never approached them and barely acknowledged them. To state the obvious, if you are not comfortable being nude, you should not work at a strip club.

Individual dances here are among the most lame I have ever seen. I knew from reviews here that there would be no contact in any private dances, but I asked some questions out of curiosity to see if this is true. It clearly is true. I couldn’t even find a girl who would lie to me and claim that there could be any touching in a private dance. No matter how much you pay, it will be an air dance in this place. The table dances are also lame because, just like on stage, the girls spend half the song dressed and only take their bottoms off briefly at the end of the song. Much of the song is fully dressed, and most of the rest is just topless. They do this very slow dance thing which allows them to undress very slowly and to be nude as little as possible. I guess it is supposed to be sexy but I found it irritating. If I’m paying a woman to dance naked I want to see her naked. I had some girls who also held their hands in front of themselves when they took the bottoms off even in the table dances. WTF. I’m paying to see pussy and they keep it covered up? Once I saw how the place works, I insisted that girls asking me for a table dance take everything off immediately from the start of the song. All but one was willing to comply although some seemed inexplicably surprised by the request.