If a single night will turn...

If a single night will turn me off of strip clubs for the rest of my life, it will be at CR Fanny's. The name alone is dreadful. Lighting is bright enough in there for you to immediately realize you've made a terrible mistake. At first I thought I'd wandered into someone's semi-finished basement. Then I saw the strippers--and immediately wished I hadn't. I was only traveling through the area briefly for a funeral, and sure I'd heard PA girls were haggard, but I was expecting more like a Kathie Lee Gifford haggard, not a prune-faced, round-shouldered, shapeless, completely used-up haggard. I may have even uttered aloud a certain line from a 1960s Mia Farrow horror flick, "All of them witches." Dancing ability? Nah. Sensuality? Nope. Was I turned on even a little? Hell no. They'd have done better to dress up the females horn section of the high school marching band. Some white trash is best left in the can you found it. Same goes for the coal-mining crowd clientele. I listened to All Things Considered during the drive home.