After two days of jousting with...

After two days of jousting with the bureaucrats of the National Energy Board I was in need of serious stress relief in the form of booze and hot girls. I hailed a cab and asked to be taken here; "Ah, Pig Alley," the cabbie cackled. I guess that is what the locals call this place. Upon arrival, I am directed downstairs where I pay the $5 cover and go through the mandatory coat check (tip only). I look around and see a sign advertising the lap dances;<p>1 customer/1 dancer - $20<p> 1 couple/1 dancer - $30<p>2 customers/1 dancer - $40<p>1 customer/2 dancers (Lesbian show) - $50<p>Champagne Room (1 hr.) - $300 + $100 room fee<p>Back upstairs to the main floor I see that the club is packed and buzzing with energy. The club features stages on two levels with bars located around the room and in the basement. I move to the bar in a side alcove on the main floor and settle in with the first of what will be many $7 beers. This bar has one of the stages right in front of me. I can't believe the number of spectacular dancers on stage and circulating through the room. Every time I look up more of them seem to emerge from the dressing rooms in the rabbit warren of the basement. Some of them enter through a door beside my bar stool.<p> I soon get a buzz on and start buying shooters for the girls as they come up the stairs. I am a very popular guy very quickly. I am enticed to the lap dance area downstairs and enjoy intimate lap dances with a lovely buxom Quebecoise eagerly pitching takeout. When I get back to the bar my new buddy (because of all the money I am throwing around on shooters), Gilles the bartender, asks me if I would like another one? Thinking he means another drink, I say "Of Course". Gilles makes a call on his cell instead. I don't get another drink - I get another buxom dancer in my arms in a couple of minutes. Gilles had phoned this girl to join me! I like this service! Downstairs the pair of us go. More intimate lap dances and this girl also aggressively pitches takeout to me ($500 from the club's close until dawn). I decline and go back to the bar where an explicit Lesbian show is taking place on stage.<p> This arouses me and I start to rethink that takeout offer. Then, amazingly, my fantasy stripper costume floats before my eyes on the body of a foxy blonde girl. The side-slit cocktail dress, sexy fuck-me shoes, black throat choker - all on the body of a goddess! Even before she starts her turn on stage I go up to her and stick a $20 bill in her cleavage and request lap dances after her set. She looks over her shoulder at me with a haughty glance, scarcely acknowledging my existence. I AM HOOKED! I sit at the bar to watch her show as Mr. Wood angrily chafes against the zipper of my trousers. At the start of the last song of her set a geeky looking guy lays down on the stage with a $100 bill in his mouth! The dancer quickly gets naked and stands over the guy slowly lowering her body over his face and then lays on his body to give him a sensuous BJ through the pants as she grinds her vajayjay on his face! At the end of the song she stands up and plucks the $100 out of her pussy; takes the geek by the hand and walks brazenly naked with the geek through the crowd down to the lap dance area.!<p> I am crestfallen. I implore Gilles to phone her and line up lap dances for me also. Gilles tells me I have no chance. She dances just two nights a month and only for the geek who is some high tech millionaire. Gilles says there isn't even any sex.<p> I search out another girl for more lap dances and go downstairs with her. My heart is not really into it any longer and especially not when the uproar starts downstairs. A bouncer shouts moments after he goes by our cubicle. Three more bruisers show up in an instant. In seconds these three guys walk a customer over to the coat check and then march him up the stairs and evict him from the club. The other bouncer drags a crying dancer to the dressing rooom and throws her out of the club after she dresses. My lady tells me they must have been caught doing sex of some kind - absolutely verboten between male customers and the dancers. Strangely, Lesbian sex is actively encouraged. This whole affair was a major buzz kill and I am seriously grateful that I wasn't caught with my pants down.<p> I ponder the uproar in the basement - it seems such gross overkill but then it dawns on me. Strictly no ITC sex brutally enforced? High priced takeout blatantly and aggressively pitched by many girls? I smell bikers all over this club. Very eventful evening for me but it will be a looooooooong time before I revisit this club.