Bandaids is close to downtown and...

Bandaids is close to downtown and Chase Field in Phoenix. The front is a bar with a teeny stage in front of it. The main club is in back, apparently a converted storage room. Thanks to the Arizona no-smoking law, it doesn’t feel claustrophobic when filled with dancers and patrons around the center stage. There is no sense of the room being dirty or dangerous. The men’s room is acceptable. Drinks are priced about the same as most low-end Phoenix clubs. Sound is loud, but what do you expect in such a small room? The playlist seems to be a typical modern mix with some ‘90s thrown in. There’s one TV in the bar and one in the back, a refreshing change from the recent trend of being surrounded by sports when you’re there to see the women.

Oh, yes, the women. There are plenty of them on a weekday afternoon, always a plus. They’re a wonderfully varied assortment, and they all look like actual entertainers, not the mother in apartment 3B trying to hustle some rent. Each of the four that I had a dance from was fairly aggressive by Phoenix standards.

So why did I rate the place so low? Those damn school cafeteria chairs! With a woman in my lap, the padding crushes to nothing and my skinny-ass tail bone presses so hard against the board underneath that it hurts and I don’t enjoy what’s otherwise a very nice lap dance.