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Sorry, forgot to mention that I paid no cover as I had a free entry pass from a previous VIP dance (if they don't give you a free pass after a VIP, ask for one!). Dances were $20. VIP was $120 for 3 songs/15 minutes, not including tip.

Awesome review, and great to read that you had an unforgettable experience!

Amazing review! Thanks for the details. Also, pretty sure "golondrina" refers to the bird only (like the "swallows of Capistrano") and not the act of swallowing, but I'm glad it got the job done in any case!

Topher, I was able to find street parking along San Ysidro Blvd. It helped that it was a Sunday! But I definitely also got lucky to find a spot. Also, it more or less makes sense to me (if it's true) that 30 minutes would be $54 and 1 hour would be $90 - I assume the prices are based on the number of drinks at $9 per ficha. And yeah, I don't really like the VIP rooms, but for whatever reason it was easier for me to just hit one of the rooms than to go arriba, though the hotel is obviously cheaper and cleaner.

Wait, Ivanka has "huge enhanced double DDs" now?! The rest describes her in my experience, but not that!