Reviews by jpez

I like Rose City Strip so far. It is attached to a giant Mexican restaurant and kitty-corner to Hawthorne Strip. I've been to a couple of mid shifts here. They open at 3pm, with 5-6 girls on shift until 8 or 9pm. A lot of clubs only have 3-4 dancers on for their mid-shifts so that is a plus for this club. It has a nice setup, with a large bar and a stage up front. There is an auxiliary area with another stage or two and I think there is even a go-go cage type of thing. Only the main stage was being used in the afternoon. I found dancers to have a good mix of hustle and stage presence. Nobody was pushy about private dances, but I'd say there is a little more emphasis on selling dances vs. stage and pole tricks like you'd expect at a place like Devil's Point or Sassy's. Otherwise it was a nice clean club that is neither too upscale nor divey. I'd go back.

Passed by here enough that I figured I should finally check it out. I expected a more typical Portland divey club, but it was pretty nice inside. The main stage had seating all around, with cocktail tables just past the rail. The second stage is towards the lap dance area and has seating on 3 sides. There is a long bar full of regulars staring at the TVs. The girls were nice. Out of maybe 10 working, 3 caught my eye, which is pretty good odds in my book. I forget what I paid for a Pabst, but I think it was in the $3.50 range. Overall it was chill, if I lived in the neighborhood I might pop in once-in-a-while. They are the sister club to Rose City Strip, and the dancers will often have shifts at both clubs.

I found myself way on the far end of Stark St., so I thought I'd check this place out. It is super far away from Portland proper, and is effectively in Gresham. It is nearby Caberet II, but that is about it as far as nearby amenities go. I was there around 3pm. Their website showed 4 scheduled dancers, but there were only 2 working. I know afternoon shifts can be sparse, but I was hoping that on a Friday things would be a bit more hoppin'. The bartender was skimpily dressed, cuter than the dancers working, and available for private dances. That is kinda neat. I also liked the stage setup. There is a low rail, without much in the way between the performers and audience. There is also kind of an elevated platform/bed thing, with a spotlight on it. The white light is a nice contrast from the pallid red that permeates all strip clubs. There seemed to be lots of nooks and crannies for private dances. There were a couple tiny impromptu stages in the main area. There was kind of an interesting standing rail away from the stage. Seemed like it might be good for posting up away from the rack between sets and what-not. Your change from the bar comes in the form of $2 bills, a la Casa Diablo. $1 is pretty worthless these days, so I don't mind tipping 2 bucks at once. Only problem is that if you leave with a stack of them in your pocket and spend them elsewhere, everyone will know where you've been! Basically, it seemed like a well set up club with some neat features. I wish there had been more dancers. I was hoping to hang out until the shift change at 4pm but I got bored before I finished my beer. It doesn't make much sense to drive or take a cab all the way out here, but I'm sure if you are nearby on a busy night, you could have a decent time here.

Sassy's is in the South East industrial district, with lots of good stuff nearby. Robo Taco is one of the better taquerias in close-in Portland, and is a few blocks up the street. Holocene across the street is a cool music venue, with lots of dance nights. Cascade is one of the best breweries in Portland, if not the country. Really cool and unique sour beers there. The Cartopia food carts aren't too far away either at SE 12th and Hawthorne. You also have Hawthorne Strip and Union Jack's a few blocks away as well. If you are taking out-of-towners or planning a night out, there is lots to do around here. Beside it's central location, the other nice thing about Sassy's is the happy hour. $2.50 beers all day until 7pm. There are a lot of beers on tap, like 20 or so, but nothing very exciting. Lots of local crafty beers, but mostly pale ales of some derivation. Still, with no cover and cheap beers, Sassy's serves nicely as a regular bar, regardless of naked ladies. Lots of after-work regulars seem to attest to that. There are two stages (maybe three, now that I think about it). Both are kind of awkward. The stage isn't elevated enough, and the rail is too tall. You can't really see any floor-work, and there feels like more of a barrier between you and the dancer. There is a long bar on one wall with plenty of stools, and cocktail tables set up in between. There is a smoking patio out past the lotto machines. I feel like I've seen more fake boobs here than I have elsewhere in Portland. Otherwise plenty of tattoos as well. There doesn't seem to be much contact at the stage. The lap dance room is also kind of behind the second stage, separated by a thin curtain. It didn't seem like there was a ton of privacy, if you are into that. My general impression is that this is a good place to take the party, or a good place for a cheap beer and some leering, but you probably aren't going to fall in love here.

This place is way out on Division, closer to Gresham than downtown Portland. So, I did go here on an afternoon, I shouldn't have expected much. Saying that I didn't fall in love is putting it mildly. In fact, there wasn't really a girl there whose set I could sit through without feeling a little awkward. Not your traditionally attractive girls working this shift. They weren't particularly comfortable up there either. There was one that wanted to talk to me but was incapable of conversation. Another girl threw something at me from the stage while I was sitting at the bar waiting for a refill. Anyways, reviewing the talent might be kind of pointless. I'm sure it changes all the time, and I'm certain I didn't catch their A team on a weekday afternoon. As far as the actual club goes, it was pretty nice. As far as stage configurations, I honestly think it is one of my favorites in Portland. It is just a big marble slab basically. No rail, or drop, or step. Just a slab. It puts the girls up as close as they care to be, and doesn't have anything to obscure the view. This stage is a 360 degree seating, lozenge shape in the middle of the room. The bar runs most of the length of the wall, the DJ booth and backstage is on the opposite wall. They had a second stage that they weren't using. Overall I thought the layout and buildout was good. Didn't care for the afternoon talent. I found no reason to go out of my way for a visit.

This place is small. It has a great east side location, very central -- being bikeable/low cab-fare for much of inner Portland. It's only blocks away from some of the absolute best dining in Portland (Biwa for hip cosy izakaya, Le Pigeon for top-tier french food, plus plenty other great options). There's a main stage with a 3/4 thrust rail, and a smaller stage near the entrance that wasn't in use. The private dance booths were adjacent to the stage, with a small cocktail table and lounge chairs in between. The bar wraps around one wall, and there is a small patio as well. There were 3 dancers on shift when I was there, around 7-9pm on a Sunday. Looked like about 6 beers on tap, local but nothing very interesting. I had a Ninkasi seasonal for $4.50. It was chill as fuck when I got there. I guess it was pretty early, but there wasn't a roided-out doorman, or goofy DJ or anything but a friendly bartender. I spent $50 for two beers and a couple hours at the rail. I was tipping $2 a song, but there weren't any signs or bouncers or anything enforcing such. There were a few dorks that probably could have used a stink-eye from a burly employee, but the pressure from the dancers seemed to keep them to a tipping standard. I felt like I was getting my money's worth, and more-than from 'Whim', who was about as sweet and sexy as anyone can be. She was petite with a perfect body, only a few tatts and great taste in underwear. Maryanne has crazy ink and was nice, and Mystery was young and pierced and played metal. Contrary to other reviews, I felt like the dancing wasn't particularly acrobatic or pole-oriented. I was getting lots of attention at the rail and more hump the stage and wink stuff than feats of human strength on the pole. I was there alone and that was precisely what I wanted, but your mileage may vary. I would say that a place like Devil's Point is more about the acrobatics than Union Jack's. Of course, with only 3 dancers and a half empty rail, I may not have had the exemplary experience in that regard. Overall, I had a nice time. Didn't have to worry about driving home from way out on 82nd or something. The vibe was nice, not skeezy or grimey. I'll go back.

This place is great, in a kooky Portland way. This is not the kind of place to go and spend $60 on lap dances and leave with a stain on your pants. This is a dive bar with a hot naked chick dancing. This is right off the MAX line, and close to lots of stuff. Good place to go if you get bored at the arcade a block away. Also not a bad place to duck in for a drink after checking out the Lan Su Chinese Gardens. Great place to take an out-of-towner for a taste of Portland. The layout is pretty sparse. Three-quarters thrust stage on the left when you enter, and a long bar along the right side. There is a one-drink minimum, and an old lady behind the bar. I'm sure the old lady is very sweet in her own way, but she will not go out of her way to prove it to you. She didn't give me any gruff when ordering whiskey-gingers and asking for lots of ones. There were only two girls the last time I was there, and I think that is standard. The girls choose their own music, which is great. I usually end up falling in love with one of them. They tend towards the tattoo'd hipster girls, and less towards the surgically enhanced career girls. The bouncer enforces a $1 tip per song while you are at the rack, which is eminently reasonable. Pretty low pressure. Other than the average price drink, you can hang out at the bar and hardly spend anything. I could see how this might not be what everyone is looking for, but I think it is great in its own weird way!