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New Century Theater
816 Larkin St San Francisco, CA 94109
I think the cut off for celebrating the new century was at the latest March 2000
San Francisco, CA. Friday night. Neighborhood is FUCKED UP. Right in the heart of the tenderloin, terrible place for a strip club. Homeless tweakers everywhere. I'm not worried about me, but I'm in a rental car. I don't have comprhenesive coverage. If one of these little fuckstains breaks my window to look in my change cup, I'll be paying that. Walk up to an asian dude full neck tattoos and shit looked like Yakuza guy. Pat down and in you go. Asian girl at the desk cover was $20 I think. In you go. Layout is one main stage, seating all around. Inside it's pretty nice, kind of felt like a planetarium. I was the only customer on a Friday night. I can't remember the time but it wasn't early, this club probably doesn't have too long then, that's just unstainable. Dancers 4. 3 white, 1 mixed. One 4, Two 7's and one 8 I would say. Some silicone on a couple of the girls. The rest the natural. I was talking with Cherry who had the whole super liberal librarian look going on, yeah I know talk about zero sex appeal but she was friendly. She gave me lowdown on the prices. She was also telling me how the homeless outside just need love and affection and free access to drugs, healthcare and free house. Yeah shit why didn't I think of that! Anyway I saw this one girl dancing on stage, I'm blanking on the name now, black and greek girl. Long black hair, nice ass/tit combo. I said let me just get dances with this girl. You pay up front, it's $25 for fully clothed, I think it was $50 for topless and $75 for nude. At that point just keep the clothes it's all good. I always thought the nude was overatted I'm not certainly paying TRIPLE for it. The dance area is in an open door well lit room behind the stage, as I was the only customer great privacy. It felt like something out of star wars to be honest with you. They might've redid the place. Decent two way allowed, grabbing her tits, decent grind. Not the most electric personality, not super into it but maybe she was just shy idk. It was good for a test dance. End of the day decent dances, not a big lineup espeically if this is a Friday night primetime lineup of 4 girls and no customers. FUCKING AWFUL location. Move your strip club out of one of the most fucked up areas in America. I wanted to check it out as it was the only strip club left in San Francisco I hadn't checked out yet. Got back to my car quick to make sure there weren't any hood rats sleeping in it.
First visit to the New Century Theater, with some comparisons to the former Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theater
I frequented the Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theater (MBOT) for many years, but it closed in late 2020. I decided to try the New Century Theater (NCT) at 10 pm last night because their website currently offers free entry plus a free lapdance from 7 pm to midnight, Sunday - Tuesday. While the New Century Theater is only two blocks away from the former MBOT, its surroundings seem more scarier. Also, I was carded and frisked at NCT, which was a first. (MBOT also had bouncers at the door, but their main roles seemed to be opening doors and escorting dancers.) The woman working the front desk took a few hellos to look up from her phone, then tried to charge me $20 for entry. After I recited the website offer twice, she waived the admission fee and gave me a ticket for a free lap dance. The NCT interior looks nice, and its stage chairs are much more comfortable than the worn theater seats in the former MBOT. A bottle of water sells for $8 (I passed). Each set ran three songs (fully clothed, topless, nude) and the music was mostly electronic. I heard the same song (Operator by Chris Lake) twice within the space of 10 minutes. A free suggestion for clubs and dancers: you're better off with two-song sets (topless, nude) since (a) the fully clothed set is largely a waste of time and (b) three sets of two songs will bring in more tips than two sets of three songs. I saw six dancers onstage and about eight customers, including one couple. Unlike at MBOT, there were no long delays between dancers. (MBOT was notoriously disorganized.) Of the six dancers, one (Princess) was nicely built, two were rail-thin and flat, and three were each 50 - 100 lb overweight. A seventh dancer (Genevieve? Jasmine?) whom I did not see onstage was the most attractive, so I let her take me on a tour of the lap-dancing space upstairs. I exchanged the ticket for what turned out to be a 30-second lap dance during which she explicitly pitched full service (blowjob + sex) for $3,000 (!), which included a $500 room fee. I politely declined. I never got more than lap dances at MBOT, but my understanding is that her proposed rate was roughly 5-10 times that at MBOT. Others former MBOT regulars may know better. So while I can't recommend NCT (scary neighborhood, frisking, few attractive dancers, and mind-boggling prices) and don't plan to return, this might be a good time for the curious to try the offer of free admission and a free (if fleeting) lap dance. Does anyone know where the former MBOT dancers are now? I miss Kayleigh Pierce, Nikki Chase, Crystal Winter, Honey Jones, Leilani Jade, and others.
Give Me The OLD Century
I thought I'd try New Century again. It'd been a while and I hoped for improvement, but it was just the same. Early on a Thursday evening, I thought it might be more lively than the last time I'd visited. But it was pretty grim. The room seems cavernous when it's empty, and it was certainly that. I half expected to see a lonely janitor mopping to a mournful saxophone. Or a tumbleweed or two blowing past. I saw no other human in the place. Then, two dancers, a dirty blonde and a mousey brunette, came out from whatever hiding place they were in and lazily made their way toward me. Not unattractive, but not model or even dancer types, they seemed pleased that someone was there, but there was no showmanship or flirtation. Just "Hey, wanna dance?". I don't expect dancers to fall in love or even care what I say, but I think part of the successful job description is to feign interest in a customer. None of that here. Nothing even as detached as salesmanship. Obviously, I'm not here to give director notes, but this just wasn't interesting to me. I smiled and declined their offers. One suggested the back room, but I could tell that illusion and playfulness wouldn't be on her menu. So, off they went. Poof! You know that sinking feeling when you know the club you're in is a dead ball? When you sit there waiting alone, watching the doors for dancer entrances, nursing your drink with your carnal optimism debating your common sense? I was there for another half hour and I got up and left. You feel like a sucker walking out past the receptionist who took your entrance fee after only a few minutes. I remember a few great times at NC, but not in years. Is the night shift better?
Vicious Predators.
So on a very rare occasion, i end up walking in around 1:00 am. I am a day time or early evening guy. I dont really frequent clubs late nights especially weekend nights. I had not been here in years. I think only once since DJV took control. There is no day schedule here, so it is one reason i have not gone in. So I figure its open and im nearby, it wont hurt to pop in and see what is going on. Well i pay the cover at the door and before i can even get into the main stage are I have two velociraptors pulling on me to go in the back. Really ? i have not even made it through the door. The really crazy thing was that they were not even working together, at least i dont think they were. I will admit, I may have been interested in each of them had they not been so agressive. One was a super tall hot black girl, and the other a super tall blonde, both with big fake boobs. Really neither one were really my type, but both smoking hot. I knew they had to be big time ROBs. So i make it in the door, and it looks like a frat party. Im not kidding you, like a bunch of frat boy types all standing up gathered in little groups. Im still barley in the door and two more vultures are on me. Again they are not working together. One tall blonde one quickly loses interest and scurries away to another walking ATM that wandered too far away from his pack. This other small curvy one, who was more my type is now questioning me why i came in by myself? Really? ok? She keeps insisting we should go have some fun and throws out some stupid ridiculous price. It was like 5 times what a MBOT girl would start with, and then even proceeds to tell me that not much is going to happen. I actually laughed and told her, in the nicest way i could, to please move away from me, because she was still clinging on to me as i was trying to move away. I would have had more respect for the gilrs if they would have just begged for money. It was horrible, like the worst strip club experience i have ever had. It is really too bad, because all of the girls looked pretty hot, and this place way back in the day was more fun that MSC before MSC was off the hook legendary cheap dirty fun. I will never go back, unless i want to have a good laugh.
Cheer up people!
How depressing, this place has really taken a turn for the worst in the hustle department. Pay the man up front, walk in and immediately two girls come up to me hustling me for a "tour" before my eyes can get adjusted. I politely decline and sit to watch the stage - thinking there'd be a dancer out any minute. Tick tock tick tock...silence. then finally a girl comes out. Meanwhile this thin blonde (too thin...) comes over and wants me to keep her company. Then she wants me to take the "tour". We head to the back, she puts me in a "room" so to speak and starts getting very handy. Now she's quoting some wild prices. I'm like "You gotta be kidding me". I mean don't get me wrong I appreciate a good dance and don't mind paying for what you get. I'm just not into the "extras" thing you know? I came in to relax and see pretty girls on stage, maybe talk to a few, maybe get a lap dance, maybe not. But for sure I want it on MY terms. $40 going rate for a starter lap dance it seems, prices go up - WAY up, from there. I just said "it's ok.. I want to go back to see the stage shows" and I got up and left. Just then some other dude came in looking as perplexed as I did. Soon as she knew it was "no sale" with me, she jumped up and hit the gas for the new hustle prospect before one of the other girls got to him. I think that's the new vibe here - no more cat and mouse. Its more like yellowjackets clamoring over a fresh piece of bbq chicken at an August party. Be careful - don't get stung! But if that's what you want then go for it. It's all about cash. Their job is to take yours and make it theirs, leaving you with a silly smile on your face. And they do their jobs quite well....quite well indeed.

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