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US Takeover of Gaza Strip Paused After Trump Told It’s Not a Strip Club

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shadowcatAtlanta suburb

A White House spokesperson has confirmed that plans for the US to take over control of Gaza, announced by President Trump yesterday, may have been based on a misunderstanding.

“The President heard the words Gaza Strip, and got excited,” the spokesperson said. “He automatically conjured up images of strippers, porn stars and beauty queens, and felt like he needed a piece of the action”.

In the bombshell announcement, which has sent reverberations around the world, Trump said he saw great potential for Gaza to become the adult entertainment capital of the world, promising to build hundreds of new casinos, luxury penthouses and an exclusive, state-of-the-art Gaza-a-Lago golf resort.

“This will be the biggest, most beautiful golf course in the world,” Trump boasted. “The place is already a hole, so all we have to do is add 17 more.”

Trump said the existing Palestinian population who call Gaza home would soon get to savour their first taste of the American dream. “Specifically, the bit of the dream where we deport all the brown people we don’t like to places they don’t want to go.”

Israeli PM, Benjamin Netanyahu, has welcomed Trump’s plans and insisted that his country’s recent bombing campaign against Gaza was merely Israeli tradies performing “demolition and site-preparation work” ahead of Trump’s exciting new redevelopment of the region.
Netanyahu admitted he’d never previously supported a two-state solution, but said he could easily change his mind if the two-state solution was between Israel and America.

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shadowcat

One suggestion for naming the property was MAGAZAISTAN.

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Avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95

This failed attempt at satire proves that liberals cannot do satire. I am not sure where shadowcat found it, but the first failure is that the premise has no basis in reality. Perhaps if Trump were a porn king like Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt, or even Dennis Hof. Also, no one would be deporting the Palestinians to Gaza, since they have been demanding it and more for 60-70 years. They clearly to do want to go and be there. Let's not forget that the so-called bombing campaign" was necessitated by the hostile acts of the Palestinian government. The Hamas sneak attack on October 7 was an act of war in every way that 9/11 was.

The line where it was noted that that Gaza strip was already a hole and adding 17 more was slightly clever, but not enough to save the entire piece.

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Avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl

You know it's a cult of personality when someone's entire political stance is inferred even from simply joking around about the exalted one.

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Avatar for Hungryhunnypot
Hungryhunnypot

Gammanu95 I am going to tread on your fat fucking ass.

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ATACdawg

Myrtle Beach East!!😂

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Puddy Tat

Like Voltron, I see the lib cope squad forming!

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Avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95

^^^Who the fuck are you, loser?

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Avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95

I know my takedown of the article was effective when some random lib gets all butthurt and threatens me.

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Avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi

This post is hilarious!!!

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