Lap dances that suck big time

8/14/2011 8:08:22 PM

The club was crowded with more dancers than I've seen in a long time. Dancers were offering two for $30 the first time around. I did not see my favorites right away so I tried out one girl and had a pleasant experience. Then a hot but thin dancer comes over and makes a similar offer. One of the worst lap dances I've had in years. I thought she was slow to take off her top. I noticed on the second song she still wasn't taking her top off.

Into the second song I was ready to say fuck it and just pay her, her tits are probably small anyway. I was starting to feel ripped off. Then she said something about she was usually cursing by this point and that she was drunk and didn't know why she was being so nice tonight. Paid her and got away. I think she transferred her anger to me. I noticed I was slightly ticked off after that and did not enjoy the rest of the time in the club very much so I left early. Two or three of my favorites found me after that but I only got one two for $30. I was ready to head back home early but got a fresh reminder why I often stick to favorites.

Have you had lap dances that sucked big time recently?

14 comments

Latest

sharkhunter

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13 years ago

I wouldn't have been surprised if there were over 200 dancers in the club at the time. It was Platinum Plus in Greenville. Seemed like there were a ton of dancers. I wasn't left alone anywhere in the club and I can usually go unnoticed in some spots. I think it's possible business was bad earlier in the week with customers not spending much money. One dancer said she didn't usually work on Saturday.

rh48hr

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13 years ago

Any time I get an air dance, that sucks big time. I am one and done.

sharkhunter

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13 years ago

I guess it could have been worse.

fetish_dancer

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13 years ago

Poor guy :( From my experience, the harder and faster the lapdance, the more I get tipped. I never do air dances; what kinda shit is that? lol.

sharkhunter

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13 years ago

Well it wasn't an air dance but I expect to see tits without telling the dancer. If she keeps working at the same club, I believe she'll find a lot of guys won't buy any dances from her anymore. I doubt I'm going to see her too much more. If dancers stop making money in a club, they typically quit and go elsewhere.

Dudester

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13 years ago

I've ranted about this earlier here. At one club, 2004-late 2008, extras all the time + great LD's. Jan. 2009 to present, worse and worse. A few months ago, I went through five dancers-all of them gave the same identical shitty dance that was 50% air.

TABB

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13 years ago

Yes this past February I got a LD from a dancer at Dream palace in Tempe, Arizona. Yes I should of know better but my friend paid for it. She yells me right off the bat!!! Ill give you the best dance ever and my thought was BS all she did 2/3 of time was air dance. I remember when dream palace was above average now it sucks not in the good way.

Sperrz

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13 years ago

I had a similar experience at the HiLiter in Phoenix, complete air dance (different from what happened to you). After one dance I told her, thank you my dear, paid her her ten bucks and that was it. Money talks...

SuperDude

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13 years ago

Too many dancers look a customers as a one time hit. Building repeat business and regular customers is the key to success in any business. Lame dances will guarantee the failure of a dancer's business.

shadowcat

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13 years ago

I expected her to suck and she didn't.

m00tpoint

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13 years ago

We had one dancer that had returned to her former club for a big weekend anniversary party and feature dancer night. She was AA, very tight body with exceptional pole skills. I arranged for my husband and I to get some private dances but did not pin down the number in advance. Boy was I glad we could beg off after one! She was extrememely athletic and did exactly one gymnastic move for each of us but other than that totally no touching at all. 98% air dance and not even close proximitry. She just did not get it. After the one dance she was asking if we were interested in VIP with her! Totally disappointing and a reminder that the best private dances don't always come from those that have the best "advertising" on stage.

stripclubspy

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13 years ago

Y'all need to move to Detroit. I had a "bad" LD recently... gorgeous blond, one of the best I've ever seen at Bogarts... large, firm, perky tits... heavy grinding, stick shifting, kept asking if she could take Mr. Happy out, tits fully available, and I'm thinking she's a little too mechanical... almost wrote a bad review. Thanks for reminding me how lucky I am.

harrydave

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13 years ago

Worst dances I ever got were a 2 for 1 special in Columbus, OH. I actually cut the 2nd dance short. There was contact, but it was so mechanical, and I got so turned off, I started composing my TUSCL club review in my head while she labored on.

I would say the quality distribution of dances follows the bell curve. The vast majority are just OK, about 10% are bad, and 10% are addicting.

cptndshon86

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13 years ago

On my third trip to my regular club, I paid $80 for 3 couch dances, and it was an air dance. She touched me with her heels a few times, and that's all. Never got a dance from her again.

On my first ever go at a strip club, I was drunk as a skunk, and sat through an air dance until I was up to ~$300, then a *more* sober buddy of mine called her off of me and I paid up and we left. I actually ended up leaving my credit card at the bar and had to go back a few days later to pick it up, i should have stayed, cause there were some beautiful women dancing then!

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