Pineapple juice

Sex on Tuesday: Continuing Education Sex on Tuesday, fall 2004: How do you want it? Tell Sari at mailto:[email protected].

By Sari Eitches Daily Cal Columnist Tuesday, August 31, 2004 Category: Opinion

Welcome (back) to college: the most exciting four to six years of our sexual lives. Before we delve into the racier topics I have in store for this semester, let's make sure we're all starting on the same page. Some things never come up in a standard sex ed class, so what you think you know may be bogus. This week I aim to combat the butt-load of misinformation you supposedly erudite Berkeley students keep regurgitating to each other in low hushes. Let's separate fact from fiction.

1. Pineapple juice makes your love juice sweeter. Myth. There are many theories about which foods to avoid and which to gorge yourself with in order to make your cum taste better, but the only advice that's backed by scientific research is to avoid alcohol and cigarettes. Hah! Forget that.

2. Oysters make you randy. Myth. Shellfish are the original aphrodisiac since Aphrodite-Greek goddess of beauty, love and sexual rapture-arose from the sea in a shell. Well, that's a lovely story, but eating oysters has not been shown to increase libido.

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1. You know what they say about guys with big feet. Sorta true, in a mythical way. Men have appendages (hand, foot and ding dong) that are on average proportional to their height. There is too much variation to come to any conclusions about a man's manhood sight unseen, but there is at least a loose correlation between height and length.

2. Once you go black you'll never go back. The jury's still out on this one. While all empirical evidence suggests men of African-American descent are better hung than the rest of the rainbow, this is hard to definitively prove. The only two studies that have claimed to measure enough cock to compare statistically relevant averages across different ethnic groups found white men to have the biggest schlongs. Both of these studies were conducted by, you guessed it, white men.

3. Size matters. Myth. It kinda does, but I'll ease you into this touchy topic. During oral and anal sex, a smaller penis is often preferred. As for vaginal sex, one thing most women agree on is that if bigger is ever better, it's about circumference, not length. A large girth at the base of the penis provides more stimulation than a deep tip banging against her cervix.

4. The G-spot is a myth. Myth. That was some tricky double negative action, still with me? Every woman has a G-spot. If you place two fingers two inches into the vagina and then make a "come hither" motion, you'll feel a slightly rougher spongy spot the size of a quarter. This famed spot can be extremely sensitive to some women, while others hardly discern a pleasure difference and so rationalize they don't have a G-spot and start these vicious defaming rumors and then sister G-spots are neglected and it's all just too horrible to think about.

5. Females can ejaculate, too. True. Enough said.

6. The clit is the one and only magic button to a woman's pleasure. Myth. Yes, it is the most dense packing of nerve endings in our anatomy. And yes, it is the only human organ whose sole function is sensual arousal. Blah, blah, blah. The "too much of a good thing" thing applies because the clitoris is three times as sensitive as the penis and overstimulation can be quite uncomfortable. By no means should you ignore the clit during foreplay or sex, just be careful not to dive straight for it or the labia will get jealous.

7. Blue balls suck. True. Vasocongestion occurs when blood flows to a man's genitals upon arousal and the pressure that builds up is not released because ejaculation does not, for whatever reason, occur. I am told it can be very painful from a testicular point of view. But this is no reason to feel pressured by a guy to start or finish a sexual activity. Guys wake up with morning wood all the time. They know what to do. Of note: though less common, a similar phenomenon can occur in a women's vulva.

8. Girls don't masturbate. Mmmmyth. In a recent poll, 80 to 85 percent of women between the ages of 18 and 39 admitted to masturbating. The rest are straight lying. P.S. Guys openly discuss jacking off, so there is no reason for girls to keep their lips tight about jilling off! Guys agree it is a turn-on to think of their partners as sexual beings who know how to please themselves. Hell, do it in front of your partner; he may learn a thing or two.

So now you know.